You might or might not like pets but the people who have pets are very possessive about them and this should be completely fine with you especially as long as they are not creating a problem for you.

A user asked the forum, Will I be a jerk if I made my dogs the flower girl and my cat the ring bearer at my wedding instead of my “rainbow baby” niece and nephew?


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The original poster’s (OP) brother and SIL had a series of incredibly painful, both physically and emotionally, miscarriages before they had OP’S niece Ava and nephew Liam, 4-year-old twins, through IVF. 

OP’s Whole Family Made A Huge Deal

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As a result, OP’s whole family, especially her SIL, makes a huge deal out of the twins, calling them “rainbow babies” and showering them with attention and affection, almost excluding the other grandkids. 

OP has not been involved with that because she has lived across the country.


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OP was getting married then. She was so excited. OP and her fiancé have been diving into wedding planning. OP and her fiance were conversing about the flower girl and ring bearer. 


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OP brought up the idea of having their dog Mika and cat Tibby fill the roles. OP says that Mika and Tibby are like children to them. 


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They helped them through their most profound depression. OP thinks that she wouldn’t be there if she didn’t have to stick around to take care of pets. 


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Also, she says that they kept her fiancé company when he was going through chemo, and she had to work double the hours to put food on the table. 

OP admits that they love them and consider them family. OP’s fiancé thought it was a great idea, so they decided to do that.


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OP brought their decision up at a family get-together, and her SIL took me aside later and asked why they gave “Ava and Liam’s roles” to their animals.

After that, OP was confused, and her SIL explained that since Ava and Liam were miracle rainbow babies, they should be the flower girl and ring bearer. 


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OP’s SIL also said that it would be good for the family for the twins to be in the wedding and added that it was against tradition to have animals at the wedding. 

OP’s SIL asked her to reconsider, and she showed her a picture of Ava in a flower girl dress to let her know how cute it would be. 

 To which OP told her that she couldn’t make any decisions without her fiance’s input, then she changed the subject.


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OP talked to her fiancé about it, and he said he would be fine with Ava and Liam taking the roles but that he’d prefer our animals. OP agreed that she would prefer our animals. 

But OP wondered if having their animals at the wedding would offend the family or go against tradition.

OP was sure that they were not doing anything wrong. But she has been overthinking lately. So, she thought of asking for a second opinion about it. 


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“I find it creepy that OP’s family is still talking about them being “rainbow babies” now that the kids are FOUR. They’re going to ask what that term means. It would mess me up if someone told me I’m treated special because all of my siblings died before me.”


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Why not both? Especially if the other grandchildren are older, they could accompany the dog & cat down the aisle to hold the leashes! Obviously, the dog & cat would still fulfill the official roles; the kids would make sure they did the job right.


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“SIL is going to have her kids in flower girl/ring bearer attire regardless of what OP decides. OP doesn’t need to change what she wants to do and is in to way the jerk, but I would suggest a plan of action for when SIL decides at the beginning of the ceremony to send her kids down the aisle.” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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