Body shaming is bad, not only when it’s done to overweight people, but also when it’s done to underweight people.
The Original Poster (OP) took it to the forum, and asked “Am I wrong for telling my girlfriend’s friend to watch her mouth when she insinuated that my girlfriend isn’t a real woman?”. We want to know from you.
BACKSTORY
OP and his girlfriend both are in their early 20s. OP’s girlfriend hangs out with her friend, Amy, quite often. Although OP keeps seeing Amy from time to time, he isn’t very fond of her attitude.
DINNER
OP, his girlfriend, Amy, and Amy’s boyfriend, went out to have dinner one night.
AMY’S BOYFRIEND’S COMMENT
OP’s girlfriend is quite skinny and eats significantly less amounts of food. She usually gives half of her food to OP.
Dinner was going alright, and then suddenly, Amy’s boyfriend innocently commented on how little OP’s girlfriend eats.
WHAT DID AMY SAY?
After Amy’s boyfriend made that remark, Amy said that OP’s girlfriend wouldn’t have needed fake breasts if she ate more like a real woman.
OP SNAPPED
OP snapped and loudly told Amy to shut her “fat” mouth. OP didn’t mean to use that adjective, but he was too angry, and that came out as a reflex to what Amy said to his girlfriend.
He also told Amy that her comment toward his girlfriend was rude and unnecessary.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
After this, Amy’s boyfriend and OP’s girlfriend tried to make things okay but couldn’t do much.
Amy got up and told OP to have fun with his “Barbie doll”. She then asked her boyfriend to leave, and they left.
OP AND HIS GIRLFRIEND TALKED ABOUT IT
After this incident, OP and his girlfriend talked about it. His girlfriend told her that her friends keep commenting on her body and that it’s all fun and jokes.
WHAT DID OP SAY?
OP told his girlfriend that no friend would make such type of remarks even as a joke. He also told her that she should not be friends with Amy anymore.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP’s girlfriend still feels that Amy didn’t mean those things in a derogatory way. She also told OP that she’s afraid that Amy might not want to be friends with her anymore.
Now OP wants to know if what he did is wrong.
WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?
“As someone who used to be super thin, I can confirm that people make these kinds of comments all the time.
It’s considered rude to comment on someone’s body when they’re fat, but perfectly normal when they are skinny – this is exactly what you have experienced here, the double standard.”
IT’S DEFAMING
I can also confirm that it is definitely damaging to your self-image as a skinny girl to constantly hear these kinds of things.
Being too thin can be highly unhealthy. When you identify as the skinny girl, you often deliberately make choices to keep you skinny, because that’s who you are.
Like only eating half your meals, only choosing healthy food etc. Most of the time, the people affected don’t necessarily realize what they’re doing.
Some people take it too far and they become anorexic or bulimic. I have 2 sisters who have battled with eating disorders because of it. One is so bad she has ruined her teeth from vomiting (bulimic) and has to get regular IV nutrients just to stay alive.
I realize you were standing up for your girl, and kudos to you for that. If you had omitted the word fat from your insult I’d be all for you, but knowing how bad body image issues are for so many people I have to say you are wrong as well.”
SHE LIKELY DOESN’T REALISE
She shouldn’t say what she said, but likely doesn’t realize the impact of her statements. But on that same token, it’s never ok to use language that makes someone feel bad about their body – fat or thin.”, said one user.
OP’s girlfriend even tried to de-escalate the situation and asked her boyfriend to stop. He didn’t. I would be so mad at my partner for talking to my friends like that. Especially because it sounds like he has likely talked trash about Amy to his GF in the past. He clearly doesn’t like this friend and was looking for a reason to go off on her.
If his GF had expressed that she didn’t like what her friend said and he supported her, I would be on his side, but, in this case, he abused both Amy and his girlfriend.”, said another user.
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.