Backstory
A Redditor asked Am I wrong for pretending not to know who Jesus is to some guy from work who tried to lecture me at the bar? We want to hear from you.
The Original Poster (OP) has hearing damage in one ear and sometimes has trouble hearing stuff the first time, depending on if they’re on the side with her bad ear. She also recently started a new job and went out with many coworkers for the first time.
What Happened Next?
After a few drinks, a guy OP didn’t know came up to him at the bar (which was pretty loud and crowded) and said something to OP that OP only half-caught.
OP says, “I could tell the vibe of it was that someone had a problem with me being gay, and he’d suggest I don’t say that I’m gay around work.”
OP thought he was doing her a favor. She is a lesbian in a state that is not too friendly about that, and often at a new job, someone will pull her aside and warn her who the bigots are at the office. OP says, “I always appreciate it because that whisper network has saved her a few times.”
She Couldn’t Hear The Names Though
She didn’t hear the name he said, so OP went, “Who?”
He seemed surprised, like the guy was someone OP should know, and OP was like, “Who did you say?”
And he said a name OP still didn’t catch. OP was feeling embarrassed; OP was insecure about her hearing, so she didn’t want to ask him to repeat himself a fourth time.
So OP said, “I’m sorry, but I’m blanking on the name. Could you point him out? I was still assuming he meant some coworker at the bar.”
He Got Angry
He was going like… What the freak? No, I can’t.
He started acting mad about how OP didn’t know this guy. And OP started getting frustrated and said, “Dude, seriously? You’re trying to tell me to look out for someone, and you can’t tell me which guy you’re warning me about?”
What Did He Eventually Say?
At that point, he raised his voice at OP and yelled that it was Jesus Christ. OP realized then that he was not trying to warn her of some bigoted coworker at work; he WAS that coworker.
It had finally clicked for OP, but at that point, OP was starting to find this funny, so she just went, “Dude, no need to yell!”
He said he wasn’t yelling. OP asked, “So seriously, who is it? Because you’re honestly freaking me out, man,” and asked several times while he got increasingly frustrated and said, “Jesus,” to which I went, “Language, man! I’m not talking to you if you keep doing that.”
What Did The Guy Do
He got mad and stormed off, and OP returned to the table with her coworkers.
A few of her colleagues asked her what was up; it looked like something she said upset him. OP said, “I dunno, it was so weird. He was talking about how I should hide that I’m gay at work cause he knew some guy here would have a problem with it. But he wouldn’t tell me what guy – and I hate to say this, but I’m starting to think there isn’t another guy?”
Her coworkers said OP should still tell HR, and OP said, “Maybe, I definitely will if he says anything again.”
OP wants To Know
OP says, “I do feel a little conflicted about that, though since past a certain point, I was just poking the bear”
Am I wrong for pretending I don’t know who Jesus is? This is what others think:
You Did Right
“No you are not. I think your response was appropriate—and hilarious!
I love how you pretended to be offended by his taking the Lord’s name in vain every time he said “Jesus!” I think I’ll steal that.”
He Is A Bigot
“No, you are not wrong. Bigots deserve to have all their jimmies rustled every day. But I do agree about reporting him to HR unless that will cause you further problems with more bigotry.”
It Is Hilarious
“Even though it was unintentional at the beginning, it was a hilarious and wonderful way to handle him. Yes, go to HR. They probably won’t be able to do anything because it was off-work property and hours, but you will have it on record.
Also, document, document, document every time he does or says something inappropriate. Never be alone with him whenever possible.”
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