Family gatherings can be a time for celebration, bonding, and sharing meals. But, a lot of times, it can quickly go south if things are not taken care of.

Sometimes you think you have considered everyone’s needs, but someone turns out to be unhappy at the dinner table. 

We came across one such an incident on AITA, Reddit. A user asked on Am I The A… hole sub-reddit, “Am I wrong for making homemade food for everyone except my brother’s stepdaughter?”


The original poster (OP) is a 27 year old female and not a professional chef. However, she loves to cook. She has taken a bunch of cooking classes and loves to make elaborate meals for friends and family. 
In 2021, her brother, Greg married Cheryl (who already had a daughter named Becca from a previous relationship). Becca has health conditions including celiac and a severe dairy allergy that requires her to carry an epi-pen.

Pre-Dinner Preparations And Thoughts:

Last weekend, the OP hosted a dinner pary at her house to celebrate her parents anniversary. She invited Greg, Cheryl, Becca, OP’s sister, sister’s boyfriend and their twins. She decided to make a fancy 5 course meal for all the invitees.
As you may rememeber, Becca has strict food restrictions. So, the OP found a restaurant that specialises in gluten free, dairy free and allergen free food. She arranged them to make a full meal for Becca that the OP would pick up before the party. 
OP also added “I have made a variety of speciality meals in the past (for example, keto meals when my friend was following that diet) and I like the challenge, but knowing how serious Becca’s restrictions were, I didn’t trust myself to make her meal. I have ADHD and get easily distracted, and if I even used the wrong spoon or didn’t completely wash some flour off a bowl, it could make her incredibly sick.

Dinner Party Fiasco:

The OP was completely sure of the take-out solution, but when she served the food, she found Cheryl looking at Becca’s plate with a stony face. Becca, on the other side, seemed fine and started eating. 
Cheryl whispers to Greg and Greg aksed if he could talk to the OP in the kitchen, privately. On getting there, Greg told the OP that it was “unbelievable” that she was not bothered to ,make something for Becca. He goes on to add that they had been bragging about her cooking to her and he knew she knows a varity like keto, vegan, and other complicated kinds of food in the past. 
Greg also added that Becca feels left out because she doesnt get to eat what the rest of the family was eating. He went on to say that the OP did not care about making Becca (who is a stepdaughter) feel like a part of the family and that they are leaving. 

Greg, Cheryl and Becca then left, which put a damper on the rest of the party.

The OP asks the people “I felt like I did my best at the time, but in hindsight, I wonder if I should have tried harder to make Becca feel included since she is a relatively new addition to our family. AITA?”

Read: She Made Her Daughter Miss Therapy To Clean Her Closet. We’re Shocked. Is This Even Fair?


What Did Some People Say?

Most of the Redditors sided with the OP, telling her, she was NTA (Not the A…hole). 

One explains “For some reason, I read that and felt sad for you. I’m honestly in disbelief you thought you did something wrong. You were incredibly thoughtful in how you handled ensuring she had a meal suitable for her. You have ADHD and are well aware that mistakes are so easily made so to ensure you didn’t seriously put this child’s health in danger, you decided the safest option was to contact a restaurant to provide something. I can’t stress this enough, YOU ARE NTA

NTA. Celiac and dairy allergies are no joke, and while it’s certainly possible to make a gluten and dairy free meal in a regularly home kitchen, there’s always a possibility of contamination. You did what you thought was safest. They are the AHs for overreacting and making the event all about them, especially when it seems like Becca wasn’t bothered” added another.

Read: His Stepmom Gave Away His PS4 Without Asking So He Came Up With a “Cruel” Plan To Teach Her A Lesson.

What Do You Think?

Was OP right to order take out instead of cooking something for Becca? Was it inappropriate for OP’s brother and sister-in-law to leave the dinner because of this? How would you have reacted in this situation?

This originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio

Similar Posts