Sometimes, you have no choice but to take extreme action to ensure your loved ones are okay. A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for calling the police on my Ex-wife?”
Read on to know what exactly happened!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) and his ex-wife parted on bad terms. She cheated on him, denied it, and then began dating the person she cheated with after OP left.
“We divorced, split custody of the kids 50/50”, says OP.
FOUR YEARS LATER
Four years later, their oldest (F17) does not get along with her mom. Mom ignores her, gas lights, and berates her. OP’s daughter has been driven to self-harm and has tried to run away twice. Child Protective Services (CPS) has been involved at least twice.
“It should also be noted that my daughter is, in actuality, my former stepdaughter. I’ve raised her since she was 2, but I have no legal claim”, says OP.
THE CURRENT AGGRAVATION
The current aggravation is due to a missing house key months ago. By this point, the key is likely in a landfill. His (OP’s) daughter was cleaning her room to try to find the key when she sent OP a photo, proud of her hard work. She shows her mother, who says it’s not enough. In response, OP’s daughter retorted sharply.
DAUGHTER’S TEXT MESSAGES
“I get three paragraph-long text messages from my daughter about how my ex-wife is telling her how bad of a parent I am and how the stress my daughter is causing might put my ex-wife in the hospital because of a Leukemia diagnosis, which she only brings up when convenient,” says OP.
NO RESPONSE FOR TWENTY MINUTES
He responded by letting his daughter know how much he loves her and wishes to help more.
“There’s no response for 20 minutes. My daughter is an avid texter, like most teens. She’s always near her phone and has been messaging me”, says OP.
THE BOYFRIEND
His ex-wife has, to this point, never struck his daughter. But OP’s ex’s boyfriend once grabbed OP’s son’s butt as a ‘disciplinary’ measure. OP’s son (M12) flinched for weeks whenever OP moved his arm afterward. A police report was filed against the boyfriend. He also has a penchant for raised voices and strict discipline.
OP FILES A COMPLAINT
Considering the past, OP was worried.
“Twenty minutes passed. I was worried. I dialed the local police non-emergency number and asked for a welfare check. Am I a Jerk?”
YOU HAD NO CHOICE
“Sounds like you had no choice but to call the police for your daughter’s safety. That cannot have been an easy decision. Being stuck in a situation like this with nowhere else to turn, I would feel helpless and powerless. What she is going through is horrible, and I hope things get better soon!”
KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER SAFE
“Not the jerk. Those kids are in a house with a known abusive man. I have no idea why your ex-wife is okay with her boyfriend’s behavior towards her children. Hopefully, you can get your daughter safe.
I would look into adult adoption for her so if an emergency happens, you can make medical calls for her when she is an adult because it doesn’t sound like her mom would make the right choices.”
BE THE ADULT THEY NEED
“Not the jerk. Even if the welfare check was a little overboard, you have shown your stepdaughter you care and love her and will worry and protect her. You hear her when she says things aren’t good, and you act. That means so much more than anything your ex-wife thinks. Be the adult your stepdaughter and stepson need, and don’t worry about anything else.”
YOU ACTED RESPONSIBLY
“You know she has a history of self-harm and attempting to run away. The responsible thing to do in this situation is to call a welfare check. I hope she’s okay! Her mother and the boyfriend sound like real pieces of work and need a reality check.
I’d get CPS involved as well since this is a pattern. The children don’t feel safe in their own homes. The adults in the home are, at the very least, emotionally and psychologically abusing them, if not physically. These kids need help, and I hope they get it.”
A TOUGH SITUATION
“This is a tough one. If you honestly believed there was a danger to the child, then no, you are not. That being said, this reaction often leads to escalation; in that escalation, the child suffers while the parents fight.”
NOT THE JERK
“Not the jerk. I’m not sure I would have called the police that quickly without trying to contact your daughter in whatever other ways you had at your disposal, if any. I’ve never heard of grabbing someone’s butt as a form of discipline; swatting, yes, but grabbing, no. That sounds quite unusual.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.