Why exactly do some people feel it’s okay to steal someone else’s thunder by announcing their own personal accomplishments on the couple’s big day? Just like you, we’ve no idea!

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for firing my brother after he proposed at my wedding?”. Here’s the full story for your context.


Photographer working with young wedding couple in studio
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

So, here’s a bit of background. The Original Poster (OP) owns a plumbing company and hired his brother 3 years ago. He was jobless after the pandemic and OP offered for him to come work for OP.

OP’s brother was 22 at the time and is now looking to become a master plumber and start his own business.

What Happened At OP’s Wedding?

Image Credits: Marcos Mesa Sam Wordley, Shutterstock

At OP’s wedding, in which he was the best man, he decided that during his speech, he would give them all a big surprise and decided to propose to his long-time girlfriend.

OP and his wife were appalled. They both feel like he stole the shine from their day.

“Everyone else in our families was so excited and kept taking pictures with her, looking at the ring, etc.”, says OP.

The Very Next Day

competition. business meeting. mature men fight for business. collaboration and teamwork. no partnership. boss men with thumb up. bearded businessmen in formal suit. business competition.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP decided to fire him the very next day. He still doesn’t understand why. He claims OP is being selfish and irrational, and their parents agree.

“They’re saying that ‘business should be separate from our personal lives’, but I just can’t overlook what he did and how he ruined our day. Am I overthinking this?”, asks OP.

Some More Information

Brothers fight
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP later edited the post and added the following information:

“I should have mentioned this, but he will be getting severance. He is still my brother, and I wouldn’t let him lose his home over this. But as a small business, I can’t imagine seeing him every day at work. Not now at least.”, says OP.

Proposing At Someone Else’s Wedding Is A No No!

Portrait of beautiful young angry woman on white background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. Seriously, how many times does it have to be pointed out to people that you don’t propose at another person’s wedding? It’s lame, tacky, and disrespectful to the couple who wanted you to share in THEIR special day; not share their special day with you.”

You Both Are The Jerks

Shocked beautiful woman in eyeglasses grabbing her head isolated over beige wall
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Everyone’s in the wrong. Yeah, what he did is really wrong, but firing your brother over this is just not reasonable. I would be really annoyed with him, but taking his job is a really jerk move. So yeah, you both are the jerk.”

He Deserved It!

Young caucasian overweight woman isolated on blue background confused and doubtful shrugging shoulders to hold a copy space.
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“Not the jerk. If someone embarrasses or majorly offends/disrespects their boss there’s a high chance they no longer will work for that company. What your brother did was offensive to you and your wife as it was your wedding and he chose to mess around and find out what messing with your boss is like in public.”

Everyone’s In The Wrong

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“Everyone’s in the wrong. Of course, OP’s brother was inconsiderate and tacky, but it is very heartless to take away someone’s job because of that, let alone your brother’s job as his boss.

I hope he gets happy when he sees his brother struggling as revenge over * checks notes * not getting all the attention deserved at his wedding.”

You Did The Right Thing!

Beautiful brunette young woman wearing glasses and casual clothes sitting on the table clueless and confused expression with arms and hands raised. doubt concept.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. You don’t announce a major life event at another person’s major life event unless it’s been previously discussed and agreed upon.

As long as you keep any professional references based on his actual work, you’re good.”

Think Of It Like This..

Blonde caucasian woman standing over pink background crazy and scared with hands on head, afraid and surprised of shock with open mouth
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“Everyone’s in the wrong. Think of it like this. If you were not the owner of your business, you would be in a lot of trouble for firing him over something that **did not happen at work, nor had absolutely anything to do with work, his performance, etc.**

It was definitely tactless but not at all something you fire someone over. I agree with the other commenter who said you should ask him to pay for a chunk of the reception since he turned it into an engagement party.”

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