Assuming a black guy to be best complemented by a black woman at a wedding party is certainly a subtle version of racism. But what if the bride herself set you up for this?
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for ditching my ‘assigned’ bridesmaid at a wedding for one that is younger and a different race than me?”
The Original Poster (OP) ended up leaving the wedding early. Read the whole story and don’t forget to let us know if he did the right thing!
Backstory
One of OP’s good friends from college was getting married (call him Tom) to his wife (call her Liz) and asked OP to be one of his groomsmen. OP was honored.
“I haven’t seen him in a while because I live across the country.”, says OP.
Meet Kelly, The Bridesmaid Assigned To OP
When OP arrived in his friend’s city, he was ‘assigned’ a bridesmaid called Kelly. Now, Kelly is a lovely woman. However, OP thinks they were only assigned to each other because they are both black.
“Liz starts telling me that we are both single and perfect for each other, but there was nothing to indicate that at all besides us both being black. I should add as well that Liz had a lot more bridesmaids than Tom had as groomsmen.”, says OP.
OP’s Conversation With Kelly
The first night the entire wedding party went out and it became clear that Kelly wanted to hook up. OP was not into her at all so he kindly turned her down. She then starts interrogating OP as to why.
OP Tried To Avoid
OP tries to give a generic answer, but she starts listing off all of the reasons why they are so perfect together. OP ends up saying that he doesn’t do the whole short-term type thing, and as they both live in completely different states there is no future here.
“She ends up cooling off but then tells me that she respects me more for that and that I am a stand-up guy, and the type of guy that she is looking for.”, says OP.
The Other Bridesmaid
During the rest of the time they were there, one of the other ‘unmatched’ bridesmaids (call her Jen) started messaging OP privately, and they hit it off. The next day’s wedding ceremony goes well, they have the reception, and OP and Kelly do their entrance together and then dance together for a bit.
“After a bit, I go to the bar, Jen and I start to dance. At this point, Kelly is giving me dirty looks. I just ignore it and continue having a good time.”, says OP.
When Kelly And Liz Confronted OP
All was going well until when OP was at the bar, Kelly and Liz confronted OP and started saying that dancing with Jen was inappropriate. They start saying she is too young for OP andthat it looks weird. (OP is 32 and she is 24 and about to turn 25). OP was like, “Oh it’s okay Me and Jen are just friends”.
Liz Is Angry
Liz at this point gets angry with OP and starts saying that Jen is in college (She is doing her Masters) and that this is Liz’s wedding and she doesn’t want to see that. Then Kelly starts saying that OP must have a fetish for White women.
“At this point, I realize that there is no logical argument I can make.”, says OP.
OP Left The Party
OP tells Kelly and Liz that he really enjoyed the wedding, but he needs to go to bed early for his flight the next day. OP leaves and goes up to his hotel.
Fifteen minutes later, Jen leaves early. Five minutes after Jen came up, they both got kicked out of the wedding party chat.
What Did OP Find Out Later
OP later finds out from Tom that Kelly is crying her eyes out and that it messed up the night for Liz as well. Tom told OP that he wasn’t mad at OP because he told Liz from the start that Kelly wasn’t going to be OP’s type, but instead, Liz really wanted to set Kelly up.
“At this point, I feel terrible that I made it so Liz was not able to enjoy her special night. As for Kelly, I just wish she got no means no.”, says OP.
These People Need Mental Help
“Not the jerk. This is some next-level psycho nonsense. ‘let’s put the black people together’, ‘a woman in her mid 20’s is too young for a man in his early 30’s’, ‘you must have a white girl fetish’.
These people need mental help. Respect to you for just walking away, I’d have been calling everyone out on their nonsense.”
You’re Under No Obligation
“Not the jerk. You’re under no obligation to continue to hang with the bridesmaid you’re paired with, other than for official things the wedding party is doing together such as photos, processions, intros, etc.
The bride’s expectations were out of line and she has no right to try to make you feel guilty. In fact, I think her attitude is pretty offensive.”
Sorry This Happened With You
“SIGH. As a Black woman, I hate to see this. Sister Kelly is single and feels some kind of way about herself and her singleness. Hoisting herself upon somebody who is very clearly giving her signs that they’re not interested is a problem.
The problem is further exacerbated by her taking it personally that you are not attracted to her, and that you found attraction with a younger Caucasian woman also in the wedding party. Like, this thing that we sometimes do where we decide that we get to police who other people are attracted to just because of racial solidarity is stupid.
OP, you aren’t the jerk. I’m sorry this happened.”
More From Mrs Daaku Studio
Thrift stores and goodwill stores are great, but there are many weird instances of people finding things. Read – Goodwill Workers Share 16 “Weirdest” Things They’ve Ever Found, It’s Hilarious!
She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says It’s Inappropriate. Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?
Sisters can be difficult sometimes, and here is one case for you to judge. Read – She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says, “It’s Inappropriate.” Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?
Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of Questioning Authority
Schools can act arbitrarily sometimes, and here is a case. Read how this Father Corrects the Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Does This Make Sense?
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and 401K, Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and; 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right.Read more.
Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It, Is This Financial Abuse?
Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It. Is This Financial Abuse? We think it is, but we need to hear from you. Read here.This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.