In a tale of boundaries and family ties, one woman’s unwavering stance pits her against her sister-in-law’s request for help, sparking a debate that challenges conventional notions of hospitality.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for not letting my SIL add my kids to the chore list?”. Let’s see what users had to say about it.
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster, OP’s SIL lives in a fairly large 6bd farmhouse on 10 acres.
OP and her family are building a home across the street, and in the meantime, they have a camper parked on OP’s SIL’s property.
OP says that she and her family only go into her house to use the bathroom or shower.
THEY DON’T HAVE RUNNING WATER
Because they have electricity in the camper but no running water. OP says that the rest of the time, they are across the street building, and their kids (14m, 12f, 8m) are with them helping.
THEY PAY HER SIL TO PARK THEIR CAMPER
OP pays SIL $180 a week to park their camper there, which is the campground price.
OP said that late afternoon the previous day, her SIL asked them to all come inside to talk, and she pulled up her chore list with OP’s kids’ names added to it.
SIL ADDED OP’S KIDS’ NAMES TO THE CHORES LIST
Things like laundry, dishes, cleaning the living room, sweeping, mopping, table + countertops, garbage, returnables, even helping cook meals (they do not eat with them), etc.
OP said that at the end, her SIL asked, “Does this work for you?”. And she also told OP that she won’t let anyone clean the bathroom because she is the only one who does it correctly.
OP DISAGREED
OP disagreed and said that her kids don’t even go in her house unless they are showering or pooping, and OP said that she would make her kids clean the bathroom, not the rest of the house they don’t use.
OP also added that she would not be making them do chores to that extent for simply using the bathroom after they’ve been helping them all day with building their home.
SIL BLAMING OP’S KIDS
OP’s SIL, who works all the time, says, “The kids are in here much more than that because all my snacks are gone, and I always come home to a trashed house, and I didn’t before you guys started staying here.”
OP says that her SIL is not putting two and two together because her daughter (12) has had consistent friends for the past two weeks since school let out, and her husband (46m) does nothing to parent.
OP’S KIDS DON’T EAT HER FOOD
OP brought it to her SIL’s attention, and she added that her kids don’t eat her food at all, either.
OP has made a point to preach to her kids about minimizing their footprint here because SIL is trying to blame her kids for the trashed house.
OP’S HUSBAND POINT OF VIEW
OP’s husband says that maybe she should allow her to add the kids to one or two weekly chores to keep his sister at bay, but OP has refused.
OP’S ADVICE TO HER KIDS
OP says we pay to be here and does not go indoors unless it’s for the bathroom, as she stated.
She also added that her kids would not be scrubbing her house top to bottom for using a restroom, and she has since told her husband that they need to create an outhouse system on their property so they don’t have to go in there at all.
OP’s husband says she was making things more difficult. In reality, OP feels that she is protecting her kids from being used. Now OP wants to know how she can get out of this situation.
INSTALL YOUR RESTROOM
“You are not a jerk. Try to get a portapotty or similar system in your yard as soon as possible. Did you have water in your yard running?
Invest some bucks to install your bathroom temporarily; it will be worth every cent. It will give you freedom and peace.”
YOU ARE RIGHT WHEN YOU STAND FOR YOUR KIDS
“Not a jerk for standing up for your kids and preventing them from exploitation. But what did you think when you decided to build a house across the street from her? I’m sure this is not the last of the drama you will encounter at your new house.”
YOUR SIL IS IGNORANT
“Not a jerk. She’s either trying to get free labor or willfully ignorant of her daughter’s behavior. You pay rent; anything more is excessive.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.