A user asked the forum, am I a jerk for not going to my sister’s wedding?
BACK STORY
The Original Poster’s (OP) elder sister is getting married this fall. When OP got engaged, she asked her to be a bridesmaid; this was approximately a year ago.
Recently she gave out her bridesmaid proposal boxes, and OP did not receive one. She says that OP was cut out of the wedding party.
SISTER HURT HER
OP never said anything because she felt it would come across as selfish, and if her sister selected people to be a part of her day, then so be it. OP says that she was hurt, though.
PAST INCIDENT
OP says that she and her sister have a history. She has done some evil things to OP.
BABYSITTING
OP says that her sister had a baby when OP was just 15 years old and told her that if she babysat for her every day after school, she would give her an old car on her 16th birthday.
HER SISTER CHEATED
OP says after babysitting for 6+ hours every day for a year, her sister sold that car, kept the money, and asked OP to get over it.
SHE WAS EXCLUDED
OP says that her sister has excluded her from all wedding activities, such as dress shopping, etc., but yet OP’s SIL/Mom/Grandma, etc, have all been invited.
OP recently got the invitation and scanned the QR code to go to her sister’s wedding site. But she discovered that she was also excluded from a plus one and could not bring her boyfriend of 2 years.
SHE DECIDED NOT TO ATTEND
OP feels that if she were to go to the wedding that she was already de-bridesmaided, she would also have to attend alone.
So, she decided she did not want to go and told her mother.
OP’S MOTHER CALLED HER A JERK
But OP’s mother called her a jerk and told her she would regret this and it is ridiculous not to attend over some bad history and her boyfriend not being allowed to come with her.
OP wants to know if she is wrong
YOU HAVE THE RIGHTS
“Your sister has the right to control her guest list and bridesmaids. You have the right to not attend for any reason. Your mom is trying to force you to attend.”
DON’T GET HER A GIFT
“I agree. I also wanted to say, don’t get her a gift. If she says anything, you can mention that you did babysitting for a year for free.”
WHY DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER?
“You are not a jerk, but it beats me why you still had a relationship with her, especially accepting to be a bridesmaid.”
OP IS NOT A JERK
“Stay home to escape the drama and pain. Your sister is a jerk -she dangles “carrots” (car, bridesmaid) in front of you, then does not follow through. You’re right. The plus one is the final straw. I’m sorry your mother accepts & enables your sister’s behavior.
Stay home and spend the day with your boyfriend, perhaps even a weekend away. You will not regret it!”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.