Nobody is perfect, and we all probably have done something unusual that we can’t tell anyone.
A user asked the forum, “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?” Here are the top responses.
TOILET PAPER PRANK
“Throughout middle school, someone tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall into your hand. We had to have an assembly about it. That person was me.”
SHOWING SMARTNESS IN DRUNK STATE
“I was drunk at an escape room with coworkers. It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time. I decided in my drunken state that it would be smart to dislocate my thumb and slip off the cuffs like in the movies.
It wasn’t. We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out, and I had to go to the hospital.
I quit a few weeks later. The white collar wasn’t for me.”
STOLE WAFERS
“Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them. I felt blessed & cursed for a long time.”
FOLLOWED A RANDOM GUY
“Once, I got off the subway in New York City, and I was super early for an appointment. So I picked a random guy and followed him on foot for about 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something.
I always kept about a half block behind. He turned this way and that and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier. It was weird, and so was I.”
MADE FRIENDS WITH COYOTES
“I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods near our home. I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her. I wanted a friend.”
DIDN’T TAKE STOOL SOFTENER
“I had a baby by c-section and didn’t take the stool softeners; found out the hard way that I should have.”
TRIED TO UNALIVE MYSELF
“Drove my car into a tree with no seat belt trying to un-alive me, failed, and ended up with a badly broken right arm and left hip. I had to get a total hip replacement. Everyone in my family thinks it was some accident, and I’ve been too embarrassed to admit it wasn’t.”
STRUGGLED WITH A KIDNEY STONE
“I had kidney stones a few years back and was in a lot of pain. I didn’t know it was kidney stones at the time, and some of the pain felt like blue balls. I was at work and in a lot of pain down there. I told my coworker, who was my good friend, and I had thought that if I could touch myself, it would help relieve the pain.
I went to the bathroom and attempted it, stopping when people came in to do their business. I finished up and was still in a lot of pain. I remember going over to her and saying. ‘It didn’t work,’ with a pained look on my face. I went home early later on. Have never told anyone but her.”
SHOVE SNOW INSIDE
“I was in the woods in the middle of the night, tripping. I decided to shovel snow inside me. I wanted to know what it felt like. It felt cold.”
DANCED WITHOUT MUSIC
“I once attended a ‘silent disco’ event at a park, but I didn’t have any headphones. So, I danced with everyone to the silent beats, pretending to hear the music. It was bizarre to dance in silence, and I couldn’t tell anyone because they’d think I was crazy.”
KICKED A KID
“When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8) kicking a dog. I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt. He ran off, and no one saw him. Still not sorry.”
DRANK BUFFALO RANCH
“When I was 13, my family got 12 bottles of buffalo ranch from a food pantry. For some reason, I decided to grab a bottle and start chugging it like a beer. Acting drunk and all, even though I didn’t understand what I was doing.
I would later learn that my mom was/is an alcoholic, and I was most likely mimicking her behavior due to trauma. Luckily, I only drank one ranch bottle(that I remember anyway).”
PUT TO BED NAKED
“My wife and her best friend picked me up from a party. I was extremely drunk. Then they helped me take a dump on the toilet, wiped me, showered me, and put me to bed naked. Don’t remember any of it.”
DRANK WHITE LIQUID FROM A PLANT
“When I was 11, there was this plant at our home that oozes white liquid if you ripped a branch. I forgot its name. The neighborhood kids said that this white liquid was poisonous.
I mixed a lot of it in a glass of water and drank it to unalive myself (abusive household, pure chaos). The liquid was not poisonous. I remember the sweet disappointment.”
COMPULSIVELY TRACKING MY LIFE
“Started compulsively keeping track of things in notes: books I’d read, outfits I’d worn, legs of flights I’d taken. I was trying to space out my hair washing, so I even started tracking that on a calendar and ended up tracking it for seven years straight.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.