It’s high time people stop blaming others for their own mistakes.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for refusing to put ‘from mom and dad’ on my son’s birthday card or reminding my ex that it was our kid’s birthday?” What’s your take on the matter?
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) and her ex-husband had issues, and they are divorced. One of the big ones was he thought he was a great father, but in reality, OP just presented him as that.
“If I planned a whole party, I would say it was from the both of us. He would forget and then piggyback off all my work,” says OP.
SON’S BIRTHDAY
Her (OP’s) son’s birthday is this weekend, and she invited the kids and had a party, got the gifts, and so on.
“Now halfway through the day, since there was no call from him to wish our kid happy birthday, it became obvious that he forgot,” says OP.
BY THE END OF THE DAY
Their son noticed by the end of the day and was quite sad. OP told him he would see his dad tomorrow, and maybe he (his dad) had a surprise.
THE ARGUMENT AHEAD
Well, nothing happened. OP’s ex didn’t plan a thing, and he only remembered after their son yelled at him for forgetting. OP and her ex got into a colossal phone argument about OP being petty that she didn’t throw his name on a card or even remind him when it was clear he forgot.
IS OP THE JERK?
“I don’t see why I should since he is a grown adult, and he should step up. He thinks I am a huge jerk. My mom got involved and told me I should have it for my kid’s sake,” says OP.
Is OP the jerk?
IT IS WHAT IT IS
“Your ex won’t do better if there’s no penalty for doing badly. It isn’t perfect for your son, but this is who his dad is until he decides to do better. You’re not the jerk for letting your son see his father without you fixing everything from behind the curtain.”
YOU DON’T HAVE TO COVER FOR HIM
“Not the jerk. You’re not married, so you don’t have to cover for him. He’s an adult. He should know when his son’s birthday is. I’m sure your son would have known everything was from you anyway since his dad didn’t bother to call and wish him a happy birthday.”
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING
“Not the jerk. You did the right thing, and your ex and mom can go mad about it elsewhere.
Your son knows (I suspect he already knew, really) that you and you alone are the stable, consistent parent.
Honestly, your mom should be ashamed of herself for acting like this when you are nailing it. Maybe look at that relationship too.”
IT’S NOT A WOMAN’S JOB
“As a society, we must stop expecting women to cover men’s shortcomings. They will never learn until we take the training wheels off. Not the jerk.”
DON’T ENABLE YOUR EX
“I always noticed when both of my parents signed my birthday cards, compared to when just my mom signed it for them. Don’t enable your ex. He can step up or lose a relationship with his child from his own doing.”
YOUR MOTHER IS WRONG
“Not the jerk. Your mother is wrong. Presenting him falsely will lead to problems with your son. Remembering to do the right thing by your child is not hard, especially in modern times with calendars on our phones that alert us.”
HE’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE
“Not the jerk. He’s not your problem anymore. Maybe now he’ll start remembering and doing something for his kids.”
Brother Furious As Sister Declines His Invitation For “Overflow Wedding”. Says, “He Needs To Make The Bride Happy”. Netizens Think He Is Crazy. You Decide
Brother’s wedding is an important event but can there a reason big enough for you to miss it? You decide who is a jerk.
Sister Refused To Host Nephew’s Birthday Party At Her House. Says “He Isn’t Allowed In My House”. We Think She Has A Point.
Is it reasonable for a woman to refuse to host her nephew’s birthday party at her home because she was unhappy with his behavior there? You Decide.
Woman Refuses To Move Aside On The Hiking Trail For A Group. Says, “You’re Rude”. Husband Requests Not To Escalate The Situation. Is He Right?
Is it okay to walk casually in a large group while you’re on a hiking trail and not care to make space for other people? You decide.
Groom Shocked As To-Be-Bride Forgets About His Daughter’s Peanut Allergy. Says, “I Don’t Listen Well”. Thinks She is Right.
How would you respond if your negligence resulted in a child’s hospitalization and a wedding cancellation? An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk”. You decide.
Father Demands Daughter Split The Inheritance Equally Despite His Mother Giving Everything To One Granddaughter. Says, “She Intentionally Set It Up For The Daughter To Fail In It”. Is This Reasonable?
No matter how logical you think you’re being, questioning a dead person’s will and wanting to make changes as you please is not at all… read more.
This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.