Despite our best intentions, we may sometimes need to decline a loved one’s wedding invitation.
A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for not going to my brother and now SIL’s Wedding and for calling my SIL fat lady?”. We need to hear your thoughts.
Backstory
Original Poster, OP is a 20-year-old female and her brother is a 28-year-old male and her now sister-in-law is a 30-year-old female.
What Happened Around 6 Months Ago?
About 6 months ago, OP actually stuck to a regime of weight loss and it worked. OP was 135 pounds and 5”1 now she is 105 pounds.
Around 6 -7 months ago, OP’s brother gave her a heads up that his now wife whom OP was kind of friends with back then, wanted her as a bridesmaid at their wedding.
What Was OP Doing All These Months?
A few times OP had gone to Starbucks with her and liked getting their nails done together. Later, OP got busy with school and focused on weight loss. She didn’t see them until early June.
There Were Breaks
Yes, of course, there were breaks, but OP wanted to rest in her apartment because she was burnt out from school.
OP appreciates them understanding she has school and couldn’t make it when they were picking bridesmaid’s dresses or other things of that sort. (The college OP goes to is across the country where they live on the east coast).
When OP Finally Saw Them
So when OP saw them this late, maybe 30 pounds lighter, her now sister-in-law said “Why did you lose weight ?”
And OP replied “Because I felt I wasn’t healthy and now I feel my best.” She frowned and didn’t say anything. OP chalked it up to her being a bit nervous about her wedding.
How Did They Make Arrangements For OP’s Measurements?
She had already sent OP the photos of the dress and needed her to come for measurements, but OP couldn’t because it wasn’t in her budget (flight tickets are expensive).
They Made Her FaceTime
They made OP face time with the person who measures and makes the dresses based on that and helped OP measure over call. (They weren’t there while OP was measuring, they were preparing for something else).
OP’s SIL’s Silly Demand
After this conversation, OP’s brother came up to her and asked her if she could put on a few pounds. And explained his now wife is jealous of how OP looks thinner than her.
OP Asked To Speak With Her
OP asked to speak to her about this matter. She agreed to talk, and OP told her that her big day should not be ruined by how big or small someone is and they should love how they are.
She got angry and told OP it isn’t hard to gain a few pounds in the next 3 weeks. OP told her calmly she won’t be attending if she thought like this.
Get, Set, Fight!
OP’s SIL started to lose her temper and started to insult OP. OP says, “Saying that I used to be a fat cow and other things of that sort so I finally just said ‘I’m not coming to your wedding you fatty.’
My brother and our parents are calling me out and saying I messed up. “Was I the jerk?” Asks OP.
That’s So Narcissistic
“Not the jerk. Telling someone to gain weight for their own vanity is one of the most narcissistic things I’ve read on this forum. I would have called her worse names.
And they think you messed up?
Not to me. It sounds like you just avoided an expensive airline ticket. People like her don’t deserve a place in your life. Make her apologize for her comment and her demand.”
She Must Work On Her Insecurities
“Not the jerk, it’s utterly unreasonable to ask anyone to gain weight. Your future SIL needs to work on her insecurities instead of making ridiculous demands.”
You Were Nice Until That Happened
“You were nice and understanding the entire conversation. She called you a cow and basically implied she wanted you in the wedding to make herself look good.
Frankly, I would have called her more than just fat but I’m a petty jerk.”
It’s Not Your Fault At All
“Well, she commented on your body first, so fair game. Also, she wasn’t bothered with your weight when you were on the heavier side and now she cares? It’s not your fault she’s insecure. Not the jerk.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.