Family relationships can be complex and challenging, but how do we set boundaries to protect ourselves and our loved ones?
A user took a forum and asked, “Am I wrong for calling my sister a cokehead?”
The Original Poster (OP) is an 18-year-old female living with her parents and older sister, Joanne, who is 23. Joanne has a cocaine habit and has convinced herself and others that it’s a normal part of her job as a chef.
What Do Parents Do
Despite this concerning behavior, OP’s parents seem to ignore the issue as long as Joanne pays her rent on time and keeps to herself while in the house.
OP was worried about her sister’s addiction but felt powerless to intervene as her parents seemed to be enabling the behavior.
What Does OP Do
OP is a college student who is receiving a government grant. She attends college from Monday to Friday and could not work due to her schedule. Consequently, she had little free time and spent most of her money on college supplies. However, OP’s sister, Joanne, who had a cocaine habit, didn’t seem to understand their financial situation and often asked to borrow money.
Despite Joanne’s requests, OP always declined as she only had €40 per week to cover her college expenses and transportation costs.
What Happened Next
OP received a Christmas bonus on her government grant and decided to use that to book tickets for a small local concert scheduled for the following week. Excited about the event, OP purchased two tickets – one for herself and one for her best friend, who happened to have a birthday on the same day as the concert.
OP Had Kept The Surprise A Secret
OP had kept the surprise a secret but eventually confided in her sister Joanne on one of her “good days” when she seemed more optimistic. OP had hoped to finally experience the carefree lifestyle of a college student for a night and was excited to attend the concert with her friend.
The tickets for the small local concert were digital and stored on an account shared by OP with her parents.
What Did Joanne Do?
At some point, Joanne had asked for the login information, claiming she wanted to book tickets for an event. However, OP later discovered that Joanne had used the account to sell the tickets for drug money.
OP only realized what had happened when she received an email confirmation indicating that the tickets had been sent to someone else. After checking the details, OP discovered that the tickets had been sent to someone Joanne knew. OP was left feeling confused and betrayed by her sister’s actions.
What Did OP Do
Upon discovering Joanne had sold the tickets for drug money, OP immediately confronted her when she arrived home. Joanne initially attempted to deny the accusation, but OP presented evidence that the tickets had been sent to someone Joanne knew.
OP Demanded Joanne Return The Money
OP demanded that Joanne return the money immediately, but Joanne informed them that it was already gone. In response, OP became extremely angry and began yelling at Joanne, feeling that the situation was unjust and unfair.
Upon her mother’s arrival from work, OP yelled at her sister, who had begun crying and apologizing for her actions. The mother attempted to intervene, asking OP to lower her voice and suggesting that they discuss the matter calmly.
What Did OP Say?
However, OP lashed out at her mother, telling her to stay out of the situation. OP further said, “why is it fair that you get to do this to me when I’ve never even drunk alcohol or smoked weed? Why does the cokehead get to be the golden child but not me?”.
What Did The Mom Do
OP’s mom stepped in and stopped that then and there; OP’s sister started screaming back at OP for what she called her. OP’s mom said that was out of line and she just made a mistake.
OP expressed her frustration, stating that their only night out for the year had been ruined. The mother believed that OP was wrong for calling the sister a name. Even after three days and attempts to apologize, the sister still refused to look at OP. OP wants to know if she is wrong in what she did.
What Others Say
“Report the tickets as stolen. Tell the person that bought them that they bought stolen property. Next time you know your sister has drugs on her, call the police.”
She Is An Addict
“Joanne doesn’t have a cocaine habit. She’s an addict. And a full blown addict if she’s stealing from you. You need to sit your parents down and let them know you do not want any personal info shared with her. She needs to either pay these tickets back and gets help or you will be filling a police report.
You than get a lock and protect your stuff! Maybe even a camera”
You Should Make Your Mom Know
“I think you need to look you mom in the eyes (when your sister isn’t around) and say “Mom, your oldest daughter is always broke from buying drugs, she stole from her family, her sister, to buy drugs. Saying that she just ‘made a mistake’ is unfair and disingenuous.
The longer you wait to acknowledge her drug problem, the worse it will get. She ruined my only night out, and a birthday gift to a dear friend. You can try to sweep all of this under the rug, but it won’t stay there.”
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The article originally appeared here.