Raising kids is no joke. It’s a process where both parents must be equally involved, regardless of who the kid is liking more for a particular duration. You simply CANNOT get a free pass from your parenting responsibilities just because the kid is more inclined towards your partner at the moment!
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my husband’s cousins if they went out with my husband, they would have to take our son with them?”. We need to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Backstory
Original Poster, OP’s son is 2 and right now he’s going through a phase where his dad is his absolute favorite person and he’s practically glued to him.
OP thinks it’s come at a good time since they’re visiting OP’s husband’s family so he’s available to spend more time with their son than he normally would be.
OP’s Demand
OP’s husband’s cousins wanted to go out on the boat with her husband. They were discussing it in front of OP and she let them know they would have to take OP’s son with them if her husband went.
They told OP it wasn’t a good idea for them to take him and made up some lies about how it would be dangerous for him to go with them.
What Happened Finally
OP suggested they do something else then because their son wouldn’t stay in if his dad were going out. They kept trying to convince OP to keep her son home and even asked OP why he couldn’t stay with OP at one point.
Eventually, OP’s father-in-law told them they could only use the boat if they took OP’s son too which is the only reason they finally backed down and agreed. They weren’t happy about it, though.
OP’s Thoughts
OP’s husband wasn’t there during the conversation as he was bathing their son but he didn’t seem concerned about taking their son on the boat which is why OP knows they were just making stuff up so he couldn’t go.
“Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.
Not Everyone Likes Kids!
“You’re the jerk. Please understand, not everyone likes your child. Not everyone likes any child. Children are not fun to relax and be an adult around, you have to always be focused on them and it’s more like being at work than it is being on vacation.
No one has to spend time or enjoy spending time with your kid. You need to learn to be okay with this fact of life. Have some grace and allow people space away from your child so they don’t resent him.”
You Gotta Drop The Idea Of The Kid Going Along
“You’re the jerk. Toddlers don’t make the rules. If your child is going through a ‘dad phase’ that isn’t a get-out-of-parenting free card for you.
It sounds like you’re taking the excuse of this phase to never allow your husband a second to be on his own…at the expense of your son’s safety, because a two-year-old on a boat is not a safe idea.
Your kid isn’t invited on this outing, and you’re a jerk if you try to prevent your husband from going. So drop the idea of the kid going along. His family wants some time with just him.”
What’s The Big Deal In Here?
“Would it really have been such a big deal to let your husband have some time with his cousins?
I get it, with the two-year-old being clingy with Dad. I have two kids and they both went through that phase. But kids don’t always get what they want, and it sounds like your husband’s cousins just wanted some time with their cousins. Adult time.
Why *couldn’t* your son just stay with you for a bit? It sounds like your husband is a pretty decent father, bathing your kid and happy to spend time with your kid otherwise, so I guess I’m just not seeing what your big deal is?”
Not Everything Is Kid Friendly
“You’re the jerk – if the people who own and operate a boat say it’s unsafe for a small child then it’s your responsibility to accept this instead of badgering them. It’s not lies OP, not everything is kid friendly and you need to accept this.”
You Straight Up Tattled
“You’re the jerk. You can travel on boats with babies and toddlers. However, if they don’t have the necessary equipment and take precautions, it absolutely is dangerous. Let your husband live. Getting your FIL involved is also a bratty move. You straight up tattled.”
There Was No Need To Generate A Conflict
“Just a thought but it might actually be healthy for your son to be without his Dad for a bit. Like I’m not sure why you generated a conflict when there was really no need for it. You’re the jerk.”
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