Raising a child is typically a shared responsibility between the two people who created them, but not everyone grasps this basic concept. An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for asking my partner to get up at 6:30 AM to watch our child while I work from home?”. We need to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) lives on the West Coast but works for an East Coast company, so he starts his work day at 5:30 AM and finishes early in the afternoon.
OP’s partner isn’t a morning person but is not currently working, and their 4-year-old daughter goes to preschool from 8:30 AM to 5:30 PM.
What Had OP Asked His Partner?
Their daughter gets up between 5:30 and 6:30, so OP kind of hangs with her and works until his meetings start around 6:30.
OP has asked that his partner must take over parenting from 6:30 to 8:30 and do the drop-off. OP packs lunch every day and does drop off about once a week.
OP’s Partner’s Thoughts Regarding The Matter
OP’s partner thinks it is unfair for OP to expect her to get up at 6:30 every weekday and wants him to get a new job and work normal hours so he can watch their kid before school.
Why Getting A New Job Is NOT A Great Idea?
OP could probably get a new job with more normal hours, but his job is stable, he likes the team he works with, and he likes the flexibility of having his afternoons free so he can do his own thing for a bit before spending the evening as a family.
OP’s Concern
OP’s partner has started texting him from bed at 6:30, saying she’ll be up at 7:30 or 8.
“I get that mornings are just harder for some people, but I wasn’t a morning person until life circumstances required that I start my days earlier, so I adapted.
Maybe mornings really are a lot harder for her, but I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. Am I the jerk if I don’t get a new job or let her sleep in?”, asks OP.
This Is NOT About Being A Morning Person!
“Not the jerk. Doesn’t matter if your partner isn’t a morning person, the two of you have a child to care for. Dislike of mornings isn’t a factor. Things need to get done. Period.
The fact that your unemployed partner wants YOU to find a different job so their sleep isn’t interrupted by THE CHILD THE TWO OF YOU SHARE should really, really REALLY speak volumes to you.”
It Shouldn’t Even Be A Question
“Not the jerk. So as long as your partner is not working, they’re on childcare duty during your working hours, whenever those may be. It shouldn’t even be a question, this is some crazy next-level selfishness on her part.”
She’s Neither Being A Good Partner Nor A Good Parent
“Not the jerk. You have WORK, even if it is at home. Plus, you’re already taking care of your daughter for part of those early morning hours.
Someone has to get the kid ready for school and it can’t be you — that’s just a fact. It’s also kinda nuts she’s saying that you should get another job simply because of this. Especially when you’re the breadwinner at the moment.
As a non-morning person myself, I sympathize with your wife. But (1) she’s not tied up in a job, and (2) she’s the only one free to take care of the kid at that time.
She’s not being a good partner, and she needs to adult up.”
She Needs To Deal With It
“Not the jerk. I’m not a morning person either and it can be very difficult to get myself out of bed early in the day so I get why your partner doesn’t want to have to get up at 6:30 but it’s her child and you have to work so she needs to just accept it and deal with it instead of expecting you to get a new job with different hours.
She may not necessarily become a morning person and get used to the early hours but it will get easier for her to wake up that early as it becomes more of a habit. In the meantime, she can drink caffeine and take a nap when you get off work but when you’re at work she needs to be a parent to her child.”
What A Selfish, Entitled Person!
“Not the jerk. She doesn’t have a job and since the kid goes all day, she is not a SAHM either.
What a selfish entitled person she is. She needs to be kicked to the curb as she is not bringing anything to the union. The least she can do is take care of the baby for 2 hrs. She can sleep the rest of the day.”
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