Sometimes, excluding others is the only way to keep your mental peace intact.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for not wanting my autistic step sister to attend my birthday party?”. Let us know what you think in the comments section!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (15F) is turning sixteen soon, and she plans to have a big party to celebrate. OP has a stepsister (16F) who is autistic.
“She is fairly high functioning but very spoiled and throws tantrums whenever she doesn’t get what she wants,” says OP.
WHEN OP WAS YOUNG
When OP was younger, her step sister would permanently ruin her birthday parties, so OP stopped having parties with her mom’s family.
“I usually have parties with just my dad’s family and my friends,” says OP.
THIS YEAR’S BIRTHDAY PARTY
OP is turning sixteen this year, so she’s having a giant party, which OP’s dad is mostly paying for, but OP is inviting her mom, stepdad, stepbrother, and half-siblings (13M and 11F).
“I’m having a party with about 90 people, and over the weekend, my grandma is gonna take me and some of my friends and cousins to their cabin in the mountains,” says OP.
STEPSISTER IS NOT INVITED
She (OP) does not want her stepsister to attend the party or the cabin.
“I know she’s going to ruin it. She gets jealous whenever I get anything, and my dad plans to give me my dream car at the party, so I know she will throw a tantrum. She always steals my attention, and I don’t want her there,” says OP.
OP’S REASONING
OP is not inviting her stepsister to the cabin either because OP thinks it’s just for her cousins and her friends on her dad’s side.
“I’m not that close to my stepsister. Besides, we’ll hike, boat, ride horses, and do other outdoor events my sister can’t handle. She will start crying if we try to go on the water, and she can’t walk further than half a mile without getting tired,” says OP.
WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?
Yesterday, her (OP’s) stepsister told OP that she’s excited about her (OP’s) party because it’s at the zoo, and she loves it there and has never stayed in a cabin before. OP told her she was not invited, and she started crying and ran to her room.
THE DRAMA AHEAD
Her (OP’s) mom called OP an uncaring brat for not inviting her stepsister and telling her so bluntly. OP’s mom said that she and OP’s stepdad aren’t coming if her stepsister is not requested.
“I don’t think I’m the jerk because it’s my party, and I don’t want her to ruin it,” says OP.
Is OP a jerk?
YOUR BIRTHDAY IS ABOUT YOU
“Not the jerk. Maybe you guys could have a separate family dinner celebration or something and include her, but by the sounds of it, her behavior can be difficult, and your parents shouldn’t expect you to put up with that. Your birthday is about you.”
IT’S YOUR PARTY
“Not the jerk. Have fun at your party and don’t worry about this. It’s sad, but it’s the reality, unfortunately. Your sister’s parents should teach her to cope and not allow her meltdowns to ruin someone else’s party and other events. It’s your party, not hers. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Have fun and enjoy your party.”
YOUR REASONING IS UNDERSTANDABLE
“The reason you don’t want her there isn’t necessarily because she’s autistic, but because she’s disruptive and unable to behave appropriately. Most likely because she was spoiled and indulged, it probably wasn’t the greatest idea to invite the rest of your step/half family and not her, but otherwise, I do understand why you’re excluding her.”
SHE SOUNDS WAY TOO SPOILED
“Not the jerk. Even if she wasn’t autistic, she sounds way too spoiled. She keeps ruining your birthdays. Have you talked to your mom about it? If they have brushed off your feelings, then celebrate without them. A birthday party is about you and only you. You need people around you that respect you and your feelings.”
YOUR PARENTS ARE 100% IN THE WRONG
“Not the jerk. Your parents are 100% in the wrong. They have easily spoiled your sister rather than teaching her to self-soothe and abide by social norms. Failing to abide by social norms means a lack of invitation to social events. I hope that you have a wonderful birthday.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.