Being related to people who hate a certain sexual orientation or have stubborn views on gender roles because of orthodox reasons is one of the worst situations one can find themselves stuck in.

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for ditching my stepdad at a gas station and forcing him to get an Uber?”. Let us know what you think about this!


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The Original Poster, OP’s (15M) mom and dad separated when he was 9. OP’s dad eventually remarried to his stepdad Bryan and OP’s mom remarried to his stepdad Joe.

Both OP and his older brother “Cam” (18M) hate Joe. He’s homophobic and misogynistic and so are his sons (14M) and (17M) and they have no idea why their mom likes him.

The Distasteful Behavior

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Joe and his boys don’t like OP much because he’s not some traditionally masculine sports guy.

“Luckily, Cam can just stay at Dad’s.”, says OP.

OP’s Personality And His Safe Place

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OP plays in a band with some friends, of which a few are queer, and OP likes flowers, etc. Even though OP is just straight and has a GF because he’s pretty nonconforming, they don’t think he’s being manly enough.

OP’s dad and Bryan are his safe place. They come to all his artsy stuff and support him unlike his mom and Joe or his step brothers.

So, OP tries to spend as much time with them over at his dad’s. Joe is always trying to get OP to try out for sports or to get to work out with his sons to “put some hair on his chest”.

The Forced Driving Lessons

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OP got his permit last month, and his dad and Bryan have been teaching him how to drive. OP’s mom thought it’d be a great idea to have Joe try to teach him so they could bond. OP tried to tell her no that his dad and Bryan were already teaching him but she wouldn’t have it.

What Happened Two Days Ago?

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Two days ago, Joe took OP out driving, and they get like 30 min from the house all the while he was telling him how to do stuff OP already learned from his dad and Bryan.

“I told him that and he goes on this rant about how he probably knows better and he’s trying to keep me from ending up like Bryan and my dad.”, says OP.

OP asked what he meant by that and Joe told OP “like a sissy and that he needed to man up”.

What Did OP Do When They Pulled Over For Gas?

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They had to pull over for gas. OP was annoyed, so after they filled up and Joe went in to get something, OP drove off and left him there. OP went home and ignored his calls. Joe ended up having to get an Uber home.

“To say that my mom and him were angry is an understatement.”, says OP.

OP’s Mom’s Views

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OP told his mom what he’d said and she told him that was no reason to do something like that and grounded him.

So OP had Cam pick him up and take him over to his dad’s and he’s been ignoring his mom’s and Joe’s calls since then.

“Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.

What You Did Was Understandable

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“Not the jerk, your Stepdad and his loser children can just keep that wish to themselves. I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to spend time with hateful people like them.
As far as your mom, well, there is usually a reason for someone who protects a homophobe and their homophobic actions and it’s not because they’re an ally. Your mom is no help because she doesn’t view what they’re doing as wrong and even if she hasn’t said things directly, she certainly isn’t stopping them.

I would try to stay with your dad as much as possible. Which I’m sure you already do.”

Do What You Think Is Right!

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“Not the jerk. It’s dangerous to drive with an antagonistic person in the car. Joe has proven himself to be awful, you were forced to go with him, and he lost his chance to be a teacher. Probably not great you left him there, but I have no sympathy for him.

See if you can stay with your dad or go back to court if necessary, you’re old enough that they are more likely to take your wishes into account.

People may see this as you throwing a fit over your mom remarrying or you being grounded, but this isn’t rebellious teen behavior, this is ‘I’m in a toxic environment and have the ability to leave for a safe space’ behavior.

Do what you need to, staying safe and happy is more important than humoring homophobes or their spouses, regardless of relation to you.”

Just Stay Away From Your Stepdad (Joe)

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“Not the jerk – your stepdad is a total loser and jerk. Stay with your Dad and only see Mom if you can without having to be around Joe!!! SD kept stirring the poop pot and you just handed it to him to have lunch.”

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