How would you respond if your child argued back against every parenting decision you made? An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for forcing my daughter to return what she stole, on her birthday?”. Here’s the full story for your context.


birthday girl
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

So Original Poster (OP) took their 13-year-old daughter to the mall for her birthday with a few of her friends. OP doesn’t particularly. Like her friends, but that’s irrelevant.

What Happened Next

Young indian woman standing over yellow background depressed and worry for distress, crying angry and afraid. sad expression.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Anyway, they were having fun. They bought some makeup and tried on clothes; OP bought them a couple of outfits each, but nothing super expensive. Then OP noticed their daughter pocketing a lip gloss.

“I got really mad (usually I don’t get mad) and I asked her in a pretty loud voice what she was doing.”, says OP.

The Public Shaming Scenario

emotion, sadness and people concept - unhappy crying teenage girl over gray background.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP’s daughter said nothing, and OP made her turn out her pockets, and then they made her return it and apologize. A lot of people in the store were watching, and so were OP’s daughter’s friends.

“Luckily, the store people didn’t make it a huge deal and we left. We went home straight away after that, and after we dropped off her friends, my daughter was really angry with me.”, says OP.

OP’s Daughter’s Rants

birthday girl confused
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP’s daughter said OP ruined her birthday and that OP could have scolded her for stealing the lip gloss later when they were alone. She said it didn’t really matter that much and now her friends would tell everyone, and they’d all look down on her.

Did OP Handle The Situation Well Enough?

puzzled confused bewildered shocked amazed man. comical reaction. portrait of a young guy on light background. emotion facial expression and feelings concept.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“I remember middle school and how awful it used to be. She might lose friends over this. Am I the jerk for not handling it in a quieter way?”, asks OP.

She Has No One To Blame But Herself

Brunette in Studio very surprised with hands to face
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Your 13-year-old scolded YOU for parenting her when SHE was stealing right in front of you?!

I would tell her she’s in trouble for stealing and for how she’s behaving. She has no one to blame but herself.”

SHE Ruined Her Own Birthday

Shocked black woman looking at camera with open mouth, expressing amazement on pink studio background. Millennial African American lady feeling surprised, receiving unexpected news
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

“Not the jerk, you didn’t ruin her birthday – SHE ruined her own birthday by stealing, her friends might tell everyone she is a thief and they might look down on her for that and she has learned a very important message DON’T STEAL.

If a security guard had caught her instead of you there would have been a different outcome, you handled this perfectly, you made a scene and made her return the item and apologize in front of her friends, she might be angry and a bit embarrassed right now but she has just found out that this behavior is unacceptable.”

Public Shaming Is Indeed Effective

Young hispanic woman standing over pink background pointing to the eye watching you gesture, suspicious expression
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

“Not the jerk. Store likely didn’t kick up a fuss because you were a parent actually watching their kid who called them out when they stole. You did the hard part for them and public shaming is way more effective than anything they could do.

Your daughter got some nerve to not only steal but to also do it in front of a parent.”

Birthday Is No Excuse For Shoplifting

Frustrated young girl shrugging shoulders isolated over gray background. I do not know where to spend her vacation, what destination to choose.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

“Not the jerk. Birthday girls don’t get a free pass on shoplifting. If she was that afraid of what her friends would say/think, she shouldn’t have shoplifted while she was with them (which could have led to their getting in trouble too).

Your daughter’s behavior and response make me think that this probably wasn’t her first time doing this and that you probably can’t blame this on the influence of her friends. If I were you, I’d be scrutinizing what’s going on with her.”

You Took The Appropriate Action

confused and doubtful shrugging shoulders to hold a copy space.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

“Not the jerk. Your daughter was stealing and you took the appropriate action. The only person your daughter should be mad at or embarrassed by is herself. She’s lucky it was you and not store security or police.”

It Should Serve As A Lifelong Reminder

Young beautiful woman wearing casual clothes, posing on white background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“You did exactly what a parent should do and taught her a valuable lesson. If she feels shame, she should. It should serve as a lifelong reminder to her to not be a thief.”

More From Mrs Daaku Studio

Image Credits: Artazum, Shutterstock

Thrift stores and goodwill stores are great, but there are many weird instances of people finding things. Read – Goodwill Workers Share 16 “Weirdest” Things They’ve Ever Found, It’s Hilarious!

She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says It’s Inappropriate. Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?

Two sisters teenager fighting at home angry pulling long hair
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Sisters can be difficult sometimes, and here is one case for you to judge. Read – She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says, “It’s Inappropriate.” Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?

Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of Questioning Authority

Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

Schools can act arbitrarily sometimes, and here is a case. Read how this Father Corrects the Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Does This Make Sense?

He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and 401K, Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right

Portrait of an annoyed woman
Image Credit; Deposit Photos

He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and; 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right.Read more.

Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It, Is This Financial Abuse?

angry hatred
Image Credits: Roman Samborskyi, Shutterstock

Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It. Is This Financial Abuse? We think it is, but we need to hear from you. Read here.This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.

Similar Posts