People say dumb things all the time. It’s a fact of life. But sometimes, the dumb things people say are so dumb, they deserve to be shared with the world.

An internet user asked, What is one of the dumbest things a person has said to you? Be careful because the responses ahead might have you rolling on the floor!

The Time Zone Unawareness

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“I’ll go first. I moved across the country. Where I live now, we are two hours ahead with the time change. I was on the phone with a girlfriend and said “It’s only ten o’clock here” to which she replied, “You’re so lucky living there getting an extra two hours a day, I wish I had that…”

Half A Million Or Five Hundred Thousand Dollars?

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“Had a cold caller try to buy my house. Asked what I would take, I said half a million.

She asked if I would go lower. I said yeah $500,000.

She said, “Perfect, I’ll get along with management.”

Never heard back.”

The “London Or England” Dilemma 

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“A classmate once told me that London is really close to England so I should see both places on my vacation.”

How Tall Are Your 6-Foot Ladders?

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“How tall are your 6-foot ladders?” While working at Home Depot. At first, I thought he was kidding and I started to laugh and then I realized he meant it.”

You Need To Get A Nose Job Done So Your Kids Don’t INHERIT Your Horrible Nose!

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“Couple I knew were engaged. He was a great guy but had a horrible nose. I asked him when the wedding was, and he told me his fiancé informed him the wedding would happen after his nose job because she DIDN’T WANT THEIR KIDS TO INHERIT HIS NOSE.  I kid you not.”

Were Dinosaurs Paid Actors In The Jurassic Park? 

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“First Jurassic Park came out in 1993. Took my then-girlfriend out to watch it. Lots of screams, but when it was done she asked how they trained the dinosaurs to not eat people while filming. I thought she was joking. Nope, she was dead serious.”

Are You Black Or Are You Just Tanned?

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“About 15-20 years ago, I drove a crappy little Kia. Some friends and I were doing a road trip from AZ to CA.  The Kia, as you can imagine, didn’t have a great deal of power and I had gotten into the habit of driving with the windows down instead of running the AC.

 We were somewhere in the 3rd or 4th hour of the drive and one of my friends, Cristal, asked why I had the windows down.  I explained about the drain on the power when the AC was running, and how I didn’t mind driving with the window open anyway. 

 She very sincerely asked me if that was why I was always so tanned.

 “No, Cristal, that’s because I’m black.”.”

Do Blind People Know Sign Language?

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“I’m legally blind. One woman I met, upon finding out: “Oh, so do you know sign language?”

… no ma’am, not only can I just listen to people speak, I would struggle to see their hands moving.”

The Double Tomato Sandwich Mishap

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“I asked for double tomatoes on my Subway sandwich. The kid working there lays down the usual 4 slices, looks at it for a moment, then squeezes one more on the end before reaching for the top bread. I said, “I actually wanted double tomatoes please.” To which the kid responded, “There’s no more room.”

I was so stunned I couldn’t respond, so I accepted my sandwich as-is and I’ve laughed about it ever since.”

Don’t Eat Raw Green Beans Because They’re Full Of Worms

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“My Dad told me not to eat raw green beans because they’re full of worms. He looked confused when I asked him where the worms go when the beans are cooked.”

Tell Your Schizophrenia Voices To Go Away 

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“My mum has schizophrenia. A nurse that was seeing her said “She should try to tell the voices to go away”.

I’m sure my mum already tried that 30 years ago.”

Do These Stairs You Just Walked Down Also Go Up?

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“I was walking down a set of stairs and when I got to the bottom floor somebody asked me if the stairs also go up.”

Spoiler Alert: Lincoln Dies In The End

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“I was eating dinner with my college girlfriend’s family when that Lincoln movie came out and her family was talking about going to see it. To be funny I blurted out our “ spoiler alert he dies in the end” to which her mom  said “OMG why would you ruin the movie!?”  her dad, the mid-bite of food slowly turns to her and was like are kidding me…”

You’re Vietnamese? Not Asian?!

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“For context, I’m Vietnamese. Upon finding out my ethnicity, my white colleague said, “I didn’t know you were Vietnamese, I thought you were Asian.”  She was dead serious.  She then followed up with, “What’s the difference between Vietnam and Asia?”.”

Do You Guys Have Internet Back Home?

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“Was doing University in a different country. In the dorms, another student, from that country, asked me if back home we have internet. While I’m on a video call with my parents. Like, isn’t it obvious?” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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