Parental favoritism is a real phenomenon, often occurring unintentionally.
All parents love their children, but sometimes they can unknowingly show more favoritism toward one child. This is what we call parental favoritism, and it can have a notable impact on the children affected by it.
A user asked, Am I wrong for selling “my daughter’s” car? We want to hear from you.
The Original Poster (OP) is 56 years old and has a son (28M) and a daughter (22 F). OP says he likes his kids equally. However, they are different individuals with different lives, so he helps them based on their needs.
How Did He Help The Kids?
OP’s son did not do well in high school and went to a community college. After a semester, the son decided it was not for him, went to trade schools, and eventually settled on HVAC.
OP says, “He had issues sticking to things, so as a reward when he became certified in HVAC, I bought him a brand new truck as a gift.”
OP’s Daughter Got Into College
On the other hand, OP’s daughter got into a good college out of state and was always more academically minded. When she was about to finish high school, it surprised OP that she had taken it for granted that OP would also get her a new car, even though he never said that.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “I explained that there would be no need for a college girl in a big city to have a car. She then asked if I could help with tuition; I did not pay for trade school either, so I declined.
Eventually, she seemed down, so I offered to buy a used car in my name, and she could use it for a while until I decided to sell it, but she would have to maintain it. She seemed happy with that, so we got an old 99 BMW for really cheap. The body was in good condition, but the engine and transmission needed work and painting”.
What Happened Next?
The daughter did the essential fixes first but then slowly did unnecessary ones, even though OP never asked for that, and repainted most of the car and had the interior detailed.
When she returned for a visit this week after finishing her finals, OP decided it was time to sell the car and listed it. She seemed upset with OP even though we had agreed to it, and OP never asked her to repaint the car. She said she thought he would sell it much later when it rusted or something.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “She also says I can sell it more expensive because of her fixes, but the reality is I got the car just before the pandemic, and used cars cost a lot more, and that is why I can sell it for more. I offered to pay her back for half of the paintwork. Am I a jerk here?”
What do you think? Was he right in doing so?
Here is what others think of this –
You Are a BIG Jerk
“Okay, so your son gets an expensive new truck, and your daughter got a beat used car. Paid for the repairs on the car herself. So you see nothing wrong with punishing success and rewarding failure? You are a jerk.”
This is SO Biased
“You are wrong. OP doesn’t seem to see the bias. This happens so often where the underachiever gets more attention or gifts, and it’s taken for granted the ‘good’ child will manage by themselves.”
You’re Favoring One Over Other
“This post makes me so sad. Of course, you are a jerk.
And “helping based on their needs,” do you know you are favoring your son and treating your daughter like trash?
You bought a car cheaply. Then your daughter paid for the engine and transmission work, painted it, detailed it, and maintained it – and NOW you want to sell her car? After you bought your son a BRAND NEW TRUCK? I would never speak to you again.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.