Why do some people shirk their responsibilities? We’re not sure, but a recent online incident got us thinking.
An internet user asked, Am I a jerk for telling my parents I won’t be their live-in babysitter or take care of my baby sibling for them? We’d like to hear from you.
Backstory
OP (16F) is an only child, and that position will be expiring in October when her parents have their second child. They were always supposed to be one and done with OP, something she was aware of. It was partly due to them finding childcare ridiculously expensive and her mom enjoying her job too much to stay home.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “I think another part of it is that they are not natural parents and are pretty much hands-off. We never do anything as a family, and they are not very involved in my life. They pay for stuff, which is their contribution to my life.”
How Did They React To The Pregnancy?
The pregnancy was a big shock for them and OP. She heard them discussing what the hell they would do, and her mom was repeatedly saying she was not going to stay at home and she was not going to take much maternity leave.
She wants to be back at work ASAP, and they complained about how much it will cost to get someone to watch the baby while they work and during the summers. OP heard them mention her, and she was like oh hell no.
What Next
OP further explains the incident: “They sat me down a week ago and told me they had these plans for me to watch the baby for 3-4 hours after school until they get home from work. It would involve quitting all my after-school stuff and not hanging out with friends after school, either. They also want me to stay home next summer and to consider hanging around to be there for the next few summers.”
What Did OP Say
OP was like no way. They told her she is going to be a big sister now and that as part of the family, she had responsibilities. OP told them THEY had responsibilities as parents and she is not a parent, she is the child in their house. They told her not for long.
To this, OP said she could rush to graduation and leave so they can’t use her as free childcare.
What Else
OP then says, “I don’t think they expected these reactions from me or the thought I had put into it. After I heard them talk with each other, I found out I could graduate in December by talking to my guidance counselor.
What Else Does She Say
“I’m almost finished with my junior year now and could finish the senior year early with the grades I keep and the work I do. That is definitely the most appealing option to me, and I’ll be 17 in a couple of weeks anyway.”
What OP Parents Say
OP’s parents were really unhappy with her, and they told her she is going to miss out on so much by doing this. She told them she wouldn’t take care of or raise the baby for them.
That she has her own life, and being stuck with a baby is not part of it. They told her she was being incredibly selfish and to think about what she was throwing away. They also said she wouldn’t be a good sister if she refused to be part of the baby’s life.
OP asks, “Am I being a jerk here?” What do you think?
They Expect You To Be A Live-In Nanny?
“Not the jerk at all. They want you to be a live-in nanny and raise their child that they don’t want.” Said one.
“It’s more than that though; they want her to not have any fun, hang with friends, and not go on any trips for a couple of summers. It sounds like indentured servitude.” Another added.
Tell Them You Have Other Options
“Tell them that if you wanted a baby at 16, you would have gotten pregnant – and that’s still an option. Watch their reaction.” Said one.
“Mum and Dad, I’m going to be pregnant shortly – and it’s your responsibility to raise your grandchild.” Another added.
That Baby Is THEIR Responsibility
“Not the jerk. My mom has always been a single mom and, much like yours, very emotionally absent. When I was 6, she went to a sperm donor just because she wanted another kid. She had twins, and I got that same “big sister responsibilities talk.”
Long story short I lost my entire childhood to helping raise my siblings. I’m 20 now, and the damage done to all of us is irreversible. All that being said, you’re right. That baby is THEIR responsibility, and you are entitled to your entire childhood.”
They Should Find Another Solution Instead Of Being Selfish
“The classic “you’re selfish for not giving up your life while I live my best life” attitude. Have you got grandparents or another family you could go stay with?” Said one.
“School comes first right now, including all extracurricular activities, even the nonacademic ones. Parents are going to have to find another solution.” Another added.
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.