She thought they were not struggling financially, so they would not need her son’s dresses. But her sister-in-law got offended when she reused her son’s dresses without donating them to her. Who’s right?
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for not donating my baby’s old clothes to my sister-in-law?”
BACK STORY
The original poster ( OP ) saw a hack online where they turn their baby’s old onesies into a T-shirt & bib when they outgrow them by cutting them at the bottom.
She (26F) thought it was genius, so she did exactly that with her baby’s onesies that they recently outgrew.
WHAT’S THE ISSUE?
OP says that fast forward a few days later, her pregnant sister-in-law (35F) messages her on Instagram after seeing a story she where she was showing & informing others of the hack.
WHAT DID SHE SAY
Her sister-in-law said, “Hi there, and also, what is happening!?? Why would you mutilate your baby’s old clothes instead of going to the store & buying new ones like a normal person?
I know you didn’t grow up with a family but traditionally, someone with a baby hands down the old clothes to the next needy family member. You know I’m due in 6 weeks, so how could you be so inconsiderate & just disregard me?? Forget about coming to the christening!!
WHAT DID OP SAY?
OP says that her sister-in-law is right, she didn’t grow up with family, so maybe she was wrong & this is an unspoken rule.
But OP doesn’t understand why she never mentioned this to her. OP admits that she donated his earlier outgrown things to a second-hand shop.
THEY WERE RICH
Her sister in law & her husband are very boujee, so it never occurred to her they would want/need her son’s old clothes.
OP says that her husband even got a new car recently, so she knows they’re not struggling financially. She feels guilty but also a bit annoyed because she thinks her sister-in-law is overreacting and not wanting her at the christening.
OP’S CLARIFICATION
OP again updated that her sister-in-law’s house is four times bigger than theirs with a private pool; her sister-in-law has two older children who are 12 & 15, that always have the best of everything… latest iPhone/Apple Watch/AirPod, expensive sneakers, new clothes, etc. she also has her own car so her husband didn’t go into debt getting his new one & they both vacation to tropical destinations multiple times per year.
So OP is not assuming she’s too boujee to give her son old clothes. She just is boujee & she never considered that she would want them.
WHAT DID HER SISTER-IN-LAW DO?
OP says that her husband’s sent an angry text telling her that even though he’s the godfather, neither of them would be showing their faces if OP was not welcome.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP’s sister-in-law called him & cussed him out at first, then started crying, saying it’s the hormones & of course, they are both welcome.
WHAT DO OP’S HUSBAND SAY?
OP’s husband said that’s not good enough & she owes his wife an apology.
HER APOLOGY
Her sister-in-law begrudgingly agreed & when he handed her the phone, she said, “I had no right to speak to you that way. You know how pregnancy can be; I was stressed & took it out on you.
Please don’t be the reason my brother doesn’t show up for his godchild’s big day”…OP responded, “Okay, let’s try to put this behind us. But moving forward, please just ask next time you need something & I’ll be happy to help!”
Now OP wants to know if what she did was wrong.
IT IS YOUR CHOICE
“Not a jerk. While passing down baby clothes is very common (not at all a traditional thing, just a fact of convenience because of how fast kids outgrow them), there’s no reason for any single person to think that you OWE them your baby’s clothes. What you do with your property is your choice and yours alone.”
YOU ARE REPURPOSING IT
“Not a jerk- nothing customary about this. Not like you’re throwing away perfectly good clothes – you’re repurposing, and that’s perfectly acceptable.”
SHE IS GREEDY
“Not a jerk. Your clothes to do what you want with. She’s being very greedy and selfish but twisting it to make you look bad.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.