Teenage is a difficult age for the kids and the parents who try hard to deal with their teenagers without creating differences and harming the relationship.
A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for not giving my son money to buy his own ticket?”. We need to hear your thoughts.
Backstory
Original Poster, OP took her three kids to the movies with her husband. When they arrived, her oldest, 15, said he wanted to watch a different movie than the rest of the family.
OP Forgot To Give Him Money
OP said that was fine, and they would meet him at the ice cream place across the street (his choice would start and end later). They started to split up and he asked for money.
The Ticket Quarrel
OP asked why she would give him money for a ticket. He said he needed the money to buy his ticket. OP said he could use his own money. He said that wasn’t fair because she was going to buy a ticket for him before.
What Did OP Say?
OP said she was going to buy tickets for the whole family for a family outing. If he’s doing his own thing, he needs to pay for it.
What Next?
He said he didn’t want to pay and would just watch the same movie as the rest of us. He was grumpy afterward, and OP’s husband said she was being petty.
OP says, “I don’t think it’s petty. I think it’s a life lesson. People are more than piggy banks.”
Now OP wants to know if what she did is wrong?
Everyone’s In The Wrong Here
“Everyone’s in the wrong here – he should have brought up the fact that he wanted to see a different movie before you got to the theater.
You should have told him you would only pay for the one movie from the jump, not wait to rub it in his face, because, let’s be honest, you knew he was going to ask for money.”
Those Tactics Never Work
“You’re the jerk – it seems like you took him wanting to watch a different movie personally. My mother used to do this to my siblings and me.
Forcing your kid to spend time with you under threat of punishment will not work out the way you want it to. Trust me.”
Grant Him Some Independence!
“You’re the jerk, he’s 15, and he is looking for a little independence in his formative years at a time when he wouldn’t have very many resources.
It wouldn’t hurt to let him see something he wants to see, especially since the family wouldn’t be talking in the movie theater anyways.”
You Did The Right Thing
“Not the jerk. I think this was perfectly handled, actually. Movies are a treat. Your offer was to treat the family to a specific movie together.
He declined and preferred something else, you politely accepted, but you shut down his assumption that you’d bankroll it. You politely left him the option to pay for it himself. You didn’t allow him to act entitled.
It’d be different if it was, say, his birthday or a specific reward for achievement of his, but it doesn’t sound like that.”
He Should’ve Simply Used His Own Money
“Not the jerk. If he wants to do his own thing, which in and of itself is fine, he should use his own money.
There’s a difference between inviting someone to an outing and offering to pay and being expected to give them the money so they can go do something else.
‘Hey, want to get dinner with me?’
‘Nah, I’d rather eat with someone else, but I’ll take the $25 you would have spent on dinner with me’.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.