It is not okay to judge people based on their appearance. Body shaming puts people under stress, and it ruins the peace of people.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for getting my mom uninvited from my cousin’s wedding? Not the jerk?”. Read on to know the entire story.
BACK STORY
The original poster ( OP ) (28f), her sibling (almost 30 m), and their parents were invited to their cousin’s wedding.
OP’s cousin is marrying an Indian, so most of the younger women will wear a crop top and skirt for this wedding
HER MOM IS COMPLAINING ABOUT HER BODY
OP says that she has a fat belly which her mom complains about, so she is uncomfortable wearing anything that shows her stomach.
AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE
OP says that on a past beach vacation, she had planned to wear her favorite bikini (from before she gained weight), but OP’s mom insisted she couldn’t wear the bikini due to her fat belly.
SHE DOESN’T WANT TO ATTEND THE WEDDING
OP had messaged her cousin saying she no longer wanted to go to the wedding because OP knew her mom would complain about her wearing the Indian crop top with her fat belly exposed.
HER COUSIN DECIDED TO EXCLUDE HER MOM
OP’s cousin was horrified and then messaged OP’s mom, saying that their family had to exclude OP’s mom from her wedding.
HER MOM STARTED SCREAMING
OP’s mom became enraged and started SCREAMING at her for getting her uninvited, but OP explained she got herself uninvited.
OP asks if she is a jerk for making her cousin retract her mother’s invitation because of OP’s mom’s fatphobia.
IT’S YOUR MOM’S FAULT
“Not a jerk.
You didn’t ask your cousin to retract your mom’s invite; your mom’s behavior got her uninvited.”
IT IS ALL ABOUT CONFIDENCE AND SELF LOVE
“Not a jerk. I’m Indian American, and in Indian culture, you have women of all ages and sizes wearing a sari or a lehenga (the crop top and skirt). Do you know how many Indian aunties wear short tops and they don’t have perfect bodies? We don’t have body shame! It’s all about confidence and loving yourself.
You wear your outfit and shine. Don’t let anyone make you think that because you are not a size 00 you can’t wear certain things. Kudos to your cousin for uninviting your mom. She brought it on herself.”
SHE DOESN’T WANT NEGATIVITY IN HER WEDDING
“Not a jerk. You didn’t tell your cousin to uninvite your mom. She did that all on her own. Probably because she is disgusted by your mom fat-shaming you. Mom has nobody to blame but herself.
Do you live at home or on your own? Because you seriously need to stay away from your mom’s negativity. Even if you were thin, I’d bet she would find something else to knock your self-esteem down.”
SHE IS PROTECTING EVERYONE
“Not a jerk. – just remember that you won’t be the only person looking stunning with a fat belly and a crop top at the wedding. Your cousin wasn’t just protecting you; she was protecting all her friends and family who deserve to celebrate with her, free of shame and drama from her auntie.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.