It’s really important to look after kids, keep them healthy, and make sure they have what they need. If we don’t, things can get even worse.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for not getting my daughter braces?”. Let’s see what people have to say.
BACK STORY
The original poster (OP) (48F) and her daughter (21F) just got into a huge argument on the topic of why OP didn’t get her braces as a child.
OP says that she felt that her teeth were fine, and they were even told by several dentists that she does not need braces for any sort of purpose rather than cosmetically straightening them, so OP thought it would be quite useless to put her through years of orthodontic treatment.
HER DAUGHTER STARTED ASKING FOR BRACES
OP addresses that her daughter would constantly ask to get her braces once she became a teenager, claiming her teeth were overly crooked and she felt as if every one of her friends was getting them.
OP told her that her teeth were fine and that her friends actually needed braces for corrective procedures.
HER DAUGHTER APPROACHED HER HUSBAND
OP’s daughter then began approaching her father (OP and her husband aren’t together) to help her get braces, but he always insisted that he didn’t have the money.
SHE GOT HER DAUGHTER SMILE DIRECT CLUB ALIGNERS
Eventually, OP agreed to get her daughter Smile Direct Club aligners when she was 17, and they worked for the most part.
OP says that she didn’t have to hear her whine about braces anymore.
HER DAUGHTER DECIDED TO GO TO AN ORTHODONTIST
It was only when her daughter decided to go to an orthodontist to get real braces and was told that she would need serious treatment because she had now developed a crossbite from the Smile Direct Club aligners.
HER DAUGHTER GOT FURIOUS
OP’s daughter became furious with her, telling her that OP practically neglected her feelings and insecurities about her teeth and that OP encouraged her to ruin her mouth by getting her the Smile Direct Club aligners.
HER DAUGHTER IS DEMANDING TO PAY HALF THE AMOUNT
OP says that her treatment is estimated at $7,500, and she is demanding OP pay for at least half since OP was the one who ruined her mouth in the first place.
Now OP wants to know if what she did is wrong.
YOU MUST BE RESPONSIBLE
“You are a jerk. Getting braces for “cosmetic” reasons is why they exist. You could have given her a much better life now if you had forked over the money when she was a teenager and gotten her teeth straightened.
It’s like you didn’t even listen to what she had to say when she was a teen, and your responsibility as a parent is to care for the health of your child.
Do you not understand what a stigma it is to have even slightly crooked, slightly overcrowded teeth? And later, if you were willing to pay for Smile Direct, why didn’t you just pay for a real ortho?”
PEOPLE WILL JUDGE HER FOR HER TEETH
“You are a jerk. It may be “just cosmetic,” but it’s something potential employers (among others) will judge her on. Straight white teeth are a class marker.”
YOU NEGLECTED HER
“Absolutely, you are a jerk. You commented before saying there was overcrowding going on when she got older, yet you still didn’t do anything except contact something that would take longer to fix and did more damage.
You did neglect her needs when she very obviously did need them.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.