Despite being childfree, many people still enjoy spending time with children and may even be willing to babysit for friends or family members.
An internet user asked, Am I a jerk for making my eldest daughter babysit even though she is “childfree”? Here’s the full story for you to conclude.
Backstory:
OP and his wife have 3 kids. Tina (19F), Jason (15M) and Ally (14F).
Late last year, OP’s SIL passed away unexpectedly, leaving their niece Jenny (4F) orphaned (her father is not in the picture). OP and his wife, of course, agreed to take her in.
Tina’s Refusal To Cooperate
It has been a huge adjustment for all 6 of them. Tina and Ally had to start rooming together. Ally is OK with this, but Tina has complained since they brought their niece home.
In fact, whenever Jenny does anything typical of a 4-year-old that Tina dislikes, she will loudly and rudely comment that “THIS is why I am childfree and will never have kids!”
A Few Weeks Ago
A few weeks ago, there were big changes in their childcare coverage, and now they lack coverage for about 2 and a half hours Mon- Fri.
Jason and Ally agreed to take 1 day of the week for babysitting duties. But when OP and his wife asked Tina to take on the other 3, she refused, stating she is child-free and means it.
What Did OP Do Finally?
OP told Tina that if she won’t pitch in to help the family by babysitting, then she is no longer welcome to live in their home rent-free. He told her what they would charge for her room and board, and she had a meltdown
What Did She Do?
She did a lot of yelling and screaming but when she realized OP was serious about kicking her out if she didn’t pitch in, she agreed to take on the 3 days of babysitting.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “Our relationship has been tense. Tina says I am not being fair because she has to take three days when Jason and Ally only have to take 1 day each. I explained it is because they are still in high school, and both are involved in after-school activities while she takes college classes part-time and online while only working weekends.
Also because she is an adult and the other two are not. She has also called me gender-biased and says I am discriminating against her beliefs.
Am I the jerk for forcing my adult daughter’s hand in this?”
Some Additional Info
OP later edited the post and added the following information:
“We can’t really afford an outside babysitter right now. This was the reasoning behind charging my daughter room and board. I currently pay her school fees, car payments, car insurance, phone bill, all of her groceries, health insurance, and utilities. I was charging her less in room and board than what her lifestyle costs monthly.
If she doesn’t want to babysit she is free to stay here IF she pays the amount we said in room and board. She would have to take on more hours at work to do so though.”
Let’s Do The Math
“So. 2.5 hours a day for 3 days. A total of 7.5 hours a week. X $15/hr is $112.50/ week X 4 weeks is $450/month. So about $450 a month of babysitting in exchange for free rent, utilities, food and whatever else you might be covering.
That sounds reasonable. You ain’t the jerk.”
What You’re Doing Is Commendable
“Not the jerk but holy molly! A lot of people in the replies here are. I commend you for taking in a new child and trying to help. Your daughter needs to grow up and either help the family or move out if she wants to act so mature and “independent”.”
It’s Completely Fair
“I think every so often, people have to take one for the team. You’re asking an adult for 7.5 hours of work per week in return for free room & board. I think that’s fair.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.