Isn’t it a mother’s responsibility to communicate effectively with her children? She asked him to bring some clothes to her home without mentioning her vacation plans. As a result, he missed out on a vacation and is now feeling quite upset.
A user asked a forum, “Am I a jerk for not going home to my mom, and now she’s in Honolulu, Hawaii, on vacation without me?”
BACKSTORY
The original poster (OP) is an only child (16M) with divorced parents. OP’s mom had a guest (OP’s cousin) staying in OP’s room from June to August.
OP says he was with his dad on a Sunday when his mom texted him to bring clothes to her house.
WHAT DID OP SAY?
OP asked why and if she had any plans.
OP’s mom told them not to worry about it and that it shouldn’t matter if she has plans because it’s her week to have him, as his parents have 50/50 custody of him.
OP says that she also said that she’s on vacation time from work but never mentioned going anywhere. OP added that although she thought of going somewhere in the past, she mentioned that it might be local.
WHAT DID OP REPLY?
OP told her that he already had plans with some cousins, and his mom snapped, asking why he didn’t want to come home.
HIS COUSIN STAYING IN HIS ROOM
OP told her mom that, for starters, his cousin was staying in his room because they have no guest bedroom and that he doesn’t want to sleep on the couch in the living room or on the floor. OP also says he is a big guy, so the couch or the floor wouldn’t be as comfortable.
Also, OP’s cousin would be staying until days before he started school, and he didn’t want to not have my room for months before he started school again.
OP ASKED HER MOM TO PICK HIM UP
OP says that after a few minutes of bickering back and forth, she eventually says that she wants OP to go to his cousins.
OP added that after about an hour, she texted back again, saying that he should bring clothes.
HE DOESN’T WANT TO SIT IN THE HOUSE ALL DAY
OP asked her mom if she had plans and that he needed to know because not only did he not want to sit in the house all day (not even in his room) doing nothing, and that he already had plans with his cousins. His mom snaps, and after, OP eventually gives up, wanting to end this argument.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
He told her mom that she could pick him up at the end of the day, but she refused and said he could just go to his cousins.
OP told her she chose the latter and then got mad again.
WHAT DID OP SAY?
He ended the conversation by telling her, “Let me know when you’re done being mad at me.”:
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP says that he is now with his cousins, and after looking at things on sale on Amazon, he noticed packages delivered a few days earlier (OP and his mom share the same account), and they were supplies for the beach.
OP then checked his mom’s location, and she was in the middle of Honolulu, Hawaii.
HOW DID OP FEEL?
OP was in disbelief and anger that his mom wouldn’t tell him her plans and that he had missed out on a trip to Hawaii. He says that he was yet to lash out at her, but OP told his cousins about it, and he emptied his frustration.
OP said his mom wouldn’t tell him if she had plans after texting him to bring clothes to her house.
OP Didn’t Want To Go
OP didn’t want to go if she didn’t have anything planned because of a guest staying in his room and because he had plans with his cousins.After arguing for a bit, OP decided to let her pick me up, but she refused.
OP is angry and frustrated that she didn’t tell him, and now he has missed out on vacation.
Now OP wants to know if what he did was wrong.
WHAT OP’S MOM DID IS NOT APPROPRIATE
“I’m not going on a surprise vacation with anyone as an adult, so I definitely wouldn’t expect a child to do that. Bring clothes – how would you know how to pack? If I was your dad, I would not be cool with that or you not having a room for three months. Not a jerk. Your mom is a jerk.
OP’S MOM IS A JERK
“It’s completely unhinged to not be told about major plans like a vacation. I love going on vacation, but it would be my worst nightmare to be told, ‘Pack some clothes and come over,’ and suddenly be off on vacation.
I’m so sorry to hear that your mom’s done this thing! You gave really sensible reasons about why you didn’t want to go over. How hard would it have been to explain that she had a surprise planned?
I think it’s really spiteful of her to leave without telling you about her plans. You literally asked what the plan was! Sure, you might have meant just for the day, but she knew what she was actually up to.”
OP’S MOM IS WIRED
“You are not a jerk for wanting to know what your mom had planned before you cancelled your plans and went home to a house where someone else is sleeping in your bed. I assume it was her idea, not yours, to invite your cousin to spend three months sleeping in your room.
Leaving you behind because you didn’t want to come home under these circumstances is pretty punitive. Your mom is weirdly controlling. I have kids your age, and I wouldn’t do this.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.