Prioritizing weight loss and health is important, but not at the expense of relationships. A user took forum to ask Am I wrong to eat a prepped meal in my car before going into a restaurant with my girlfriend because of my strict diet?
BACK STORY
The original poster ( OP ) lost 80 lbs through extreme dedication to dieting and exercising. It was a life-changing journey for him.
OP Started His Journey
OP started this journey when the doctor warned about poor cardiovascular health results due to his unhealthy eating habit and lifestyle. It was a wake-up call for him, and he thought that as he turned 30, he must not remain the same person.
WHAT DID OP DO
Then, OP focused on going hard to the gym without eating correctly. It harmed his CNS ( Central Nervous System ) as he lifted weights without eating correctly.
OP TAKES HIS HEALTH SERIOUSLY
Since then, OP started to take his health seriously. OP prepares meals that are calculated to his daily nutritional needs and keeps a caloric deficit to have him on track for losing weight. OP avoided eating out at any cost as he felt like putting him on a slippery slope back to his old eating habits.
According to OP, restaurants are like relapsing on a drug. Taking one bite of a cheesesteak egg roll will push him to buy an Oreo.
OP’s GIRLFRIEND
OP’s girlfriend supported his health journey but didn’t join him. OP’s girlfriend had been cooking and eating as she did before, but that food was covered with lots of sugar, fat, and calories.
OP APPRECIATES
OP appreciates that his girlfriend cooks at home but cannot eat food that his girlfriend makes most of the time. Although it strained their relationship, OP and his girlfriend somehow managed.
THE REAL CONFLICT
The actual conflict arose between OP and his girlfriend on their anniversary last month. OP’s girlfriend wanted to celebrate the anniversary at a fancy restaurant.
OP also wanted to make the night special. So he agreed to go with her. But OP didn’t want to break his diet. And he decided to prepare a meal in a car before they entered the restaurant.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP’s girlfriend discovered what he was doing, and she got upset. She called OP a jerk for not putting his diet aside for one day. She also said that OP cared more about his food than their special day.
OP’s girlfriend called OP selfish and said he should have been more considerate about her feelings since it was their anniversary.
WHAT DID OP FEEL?
OP felt conflicted. He could understand her feelings and didn’t mean to upset her.
On the other hand, OP worked really hard to improve his health, and he was scared of falling back into his old habits.
HE IS ADDICTED
“His diet is controlling his life to the point that he can’t take his girlfriend out for an anniversary dinner. He is essentially addicted to his diet now.”
YOU MUST HAVE CLEARLY EXPLAINED
“OP ” is imposing how you have changed your life and habits. Keep at it. But now, it sounds like you still have some internal work around your food and consumption. That is going to derail your progress. You must find a way to participate in family occasions, celebrations, and whatnot.
Eating out is a wrinkle, but in our current world, with all sorts of special diets being commonplace like keto, vegan, gluten-free, etc. – the restaurant can accommodate you with a warning, and you can eat with your girlfriend. You are going to have to do that.
And for long-term success, learn to manage. If you think one meal out will lead you to a binge, you need to address the root cause of your binging and solve that. If you don’t, all of your hard work won’t stick.
That is why you are the jerk. If, at the current stage, you could not accompany your girlfriend for this special celebration dinner – you should have explained it clearly before you booked, laid out how you planned to compromise, and informed her you would not be eating.”
YOU ARE OBSESSED
“If you can’t even deal with one restaurant meal now, then you should have suggested some alternate celebration.
And frankly, even dieters can figure out what to order that is healthier or within caloric guidelines for a day. Your rigidity around your eating plan borders on obsession.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.