Sometimes, it becomes necessary to hit some people with a reality check!
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for allowing my wife to cook for seven hours to prove a point?”. Please look into this matter!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) wife is a neurologist. Once a month, they have a tradition where they and four other families they are friends with from her work gather in each other’s houses for dinner.
“This month was our turn to host,” says OP.
WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS?
Usually, OP cooks all the meals at home because his wife is an incompetent cook, although she claims she is a fantastic cook.
“When she cooks, she would crank up the heat to max and say it just cooks the meal faster, and that it doesn’t make a difference, it does,” says OP.
FAST FORWARD TO FRIDAY NIGHT
Friday night, OP was doing preparation work on all the vegetables since he was going to be cooking for around seven hours the next day.
“I was almost done when my wife came into the kitchen complaining that I was wasting my time and should be helping the children. I got annoyed,” says OP.
YEARS OF FIGHT
They’ve had this fight for years. If OP cooks something simple, for the next four months, his wife would nag him for weeks after each dinner with her friends about how OP embarrassed her.
“This time, I wasn’t in the mood for fighting, so I wrote out the entire menu, with the schedule of when each dish had to be cooked,” says OP.
WHAT WAS THE MENU?
The menu was traditional homemade bread, four dips (roast aubergine, roasted bell peppers, cream and mushrooms, sour cream, and caramelized onions), two platters of cured meats, and sausages for the appetizers.
“For the main course, there was lasagna and chicken skewers with an Indian marinate with two salads (green salad and cabbage and carrots). For dessert, there was a New York cheesecake and a lemon tart with Swiss meringue.
There are two options for each because one of the husbands is lactose intolerant, and we will seem cheap if we only had one option, my wife’s words,” says OP.
THE FAKE EMERGENCY
When OP was done, he called his parents and had them fake an emergency. Yesterday, his parents called and said that a pipe burst, and they wanted OP’s help.
“Since my wife is competent and can do everything herself, I took the kids to fix the pipe and let her cook. I spent the day resting while pretending to fix the pipe, and my parents were playing with the kids,” says OP.
WHEN OP WENT BACK
An hour and a half before dinner time, OP took the kids home so they could shower and prepare.
“As I imagined, my wife did a horrible job. Either the food was raw, burnt, or a combination of both. Her friends probably went to McDonald’s after that dinner because we have a lot of scraps left,” says OP.
IS OP THE JERK?
“Now she’s singing a different song and saying that I abandoned her when I was the one that knew how to cook, and she doesn’t and blames me for the whole fiasco. I still haven’t told her the truth, and I’m not planning to.
But I wanted to know if I was the idiot because she still hadn’t learned her lesson and blamed me. When I do everything she wants, I’m the bad guy, but if I let her do things how she wants them, I’m still the bad guy,” says OP.
EVERYONE REACHES A BREAKING POINT
“Sounds like you at least learned that you’ll always be the bad guy. Now, it’s time to figure out if you want to continue living that way and what to do about it. Not the jerk for what you did, as everyone reaches a breaking point.”
CALL HER ON HER COMPLAINTS
“Not the jerk. When your wife raises it again, remind her she was unhappy that you weren’t taking care of the kids and said she was the better cook, so since you cooked everything alone, why couldn’t she? Call her on her complaints.”
THIS SITUATION IS UNSUSTAINABLE
“Not the jerk. But this situation is unsustainable. If your wife is unwilling to reflect on her behavior, you need to decide whether you will seek counseling to find some middle ground or start the separation process.”
SHE’S PRIDEFUL
“Not the jerk. I wouldn’t go so far as to say your wife’s abusive but prideful. She’s embarrassed herself. You know her. Will she realize her mistake and come around, or is she like this about everything? She should’ve let you cook.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.