She went to see her daughter and her grandson with excitement, but her daughter’s MIL was annoying her and so she told her truth straight on her face.

A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for implying my daughter’s MIL is a child to her face?”. Read the entire story to see who is wrong here.


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The Original Poster (OP) are parents of two beautiful children. Their daughter is 25, and their son is 21. Both of their children are adopted from foster care. Their daughter was 2 when she came into their home, and their son was 11 weeks old.


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As parents, their main goal was always to make sure their children grew up to be good people and felt loved and supported by them through all the stages of their lives.

Their daughter is now married to a wonderful man, Taylor, and they just had their first child together.


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OP had a bit of a run-in with her daughter’s MIL at the hospital when they went to visit.

Her daughter’s MIL and FIL have always struck her as somewhat arrogant. OP and her husband have both felt like they have made jabs at the fact that they were “older parents”.

This is probably because Taylor’s parents had him when they were 18, and they are grandparents at 43 now.


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OP says, “According to Taylor’s mom, apparently, this is something that makes them superior to me and my husband as grandparents.”

This all started out when they were invited to come meet the baby and see Taylor and their daughter.


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She and her husband first went to check on how their daughter was doing and if she needed anything. Taylor’s parents went straight for the baby.


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When they were leaving, OP’s husband went to use the restroom, and Taylor’s mom followed OP and suggested that she was some grandparent when she showed no enthusiasm to meet her grandson.


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OP asked what she meant by that, and she said she ignored him for the first ten minutes. She corrected her and said she did not ignore her grandson; she checked on her baby first because childbirth can be difficult.


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Her daughter’s MIL asked how OP would know that and then said it must be her age that makes her less interested in grandbabies.

OP was shocked as this was the most blatant insult she had directed her way.


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Her daughter’s MIL then said that she and her husband would be the beloved grandparents because they’re young enough to run around with their grandson and play with him without breaking a hip or destroying their backs.

Her daughter’s MIL said clearly being old parents came with the disadvantage of being old grandparents, and that would not be fun for a child.


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OP told her she would rather be an older grandparent than try to be a grandparent while still behaving like a child herself.


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She was furious, and OP felt bad immediately because she only inflated the problem.


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OP and her husband left, and his husband suggested they should speak to Taylor in case his mother twisted things.

OP didn’t want to interrupt their first day as a family of three, so she waited for a couple of days.


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At that point, Taylor knew something was up with his mom. They talked, and he told her not to worry about it. He apologized to his mom and asked if his parents had been like that with them previously.

OP asks if she is a jerk.


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“What is wrong with that crazy woman? Congratulations on your new grandson, and well done for showing comfort and love to your daughter as a priority; you sound like a nice mom.

Tell the MIL to respect her elders, or you’ll put her over your knee if she’s acting like a spoiled kid ‘grandparent war.”


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“Seriously, don’t feel bad. She deserved way more than that. That audacity, wwwwwaaaaauuuuw. But don’t worry; you’ll probably turn out to be the preferred grandparents.

If Taylor is a wonderful man, and I can only imagine your daughter is too, the kids are gonna turn out good too and kids see through the kinda of bad this lady is putting forward. Don’t worry.

You might have made it a bit worse, but with her personality, it would only have been a matter of time before she pulled another stunt. You guys would have come to blows at some point, I bet, and there’s no honor in being the bigger person all the way while being trashed.

You need to push back when you meet a bully, and that’s what you did. The jab you took at her personality is NOTHING compared to what she threw at you.”


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“I have sadly seen this often. Taylor’s parents are trying to act superior because they missed out on the experiences they traditionally would have had in their late teens and early 20’s because they got pregnant and are insecure/jealous.

Typically, people who do this are not financially well off and, frankly, never matured past the age they had kids.

They are always throwing around comments about how easy it was for them to bounce back after they had their kids, how much more energy they have, how they don’t look like grandparents, etc.

Either tell her the one-up man stuff looks immature and pathetic or go full-on passive-aggressive and make sure you mention all the things you go to do that they missed out on.

Mention robust retirement accounts, fun trips in your 20’s, good careers, and how glad you are that your daughter waited until her brain fully developed before she had a baby.”

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