Nobody goes around telling their children whether or not they were being breastfed as an infant, especially when the topic just never came up!
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for not ‘disclosing’ to my daughter that she wasn’t breastfed?”. We need to hear your thoughts on the matter.
The title sums it all up. The Original Poster (OP), (45F), and OP’s pregnant daughter, (23f), were discussing the upcoming baby. She asked OP how hard breastfeeding was and it all went topsy-turvy from there!
What Did OP Tell Her Daughter?
OP told her daughter she never did…that is to say, OP’s daughter was never breastfed.
OP’s Daughter Asked For A Reason
OP’s daughter asked why and OP told her the only two people she knew who breastfed complained about it constantly and it didn’t seem worth the hassle, especially since her daughter’s dad left OP and she had to go back to work 7 weeks after she was born.
OP only got an extra week because week 6 was Christmas week.
OP’s Daughter’s Reaction
OP’s daughter was upset and accused OP of hiding this from her. OP said it never came up!
So, her daughter is all mad and has called her doctor to see if she is at a disadvantage because of this and if OP should have “disclosed the facts” before she got pregnant, so she knew she was “malnourished”.
What Does OP Say?
“She was never malnourished! She hit all her landmarks in infancy and was very healthy. I think she is being ridiculous and she thinks I’m a total jerk. Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.
Does She Have Anxiety?
“Not the jerk. Does your daughter have anxiety? I think a lot of ‘breast is best’ people push women to believe anything that isn’t breast milk is some sort of abuse. She sounds misinformed.”
She Needs To Grow Up
“Not the jerk, and good lord she needs to grow up or get over herself or something. How insufferable. Many babies weren’t breastfed and they turned out just fine.
I wonder what she would think if she realized there is a whole generation of babies fed Carnation Milk out of a can LOL. Is she also the type who says that her baby will never eat a french fry, or a goldfish cracker because they are unhealthy?
Wait a few years and she might get knocked down a peg or two by her own experience. Or she will push everyone around her away with her drama and antics, one or the other.”
It’s Beneficial But Not Mandatory
“Not the jerk. Breastfeeding may have health benefits for the baby, but it’s not a reasonable or workable option for many women for a variety of reasons. It also isn’t the kind of thing likely to come up in conversation or to be thought about years later.
There have been more people aggressively pushing it (as others here have already said) which might be inflating its importance in her mind.
In any event, it’s clear that you didn’t hide it; you answered truthfully as soon as she asked.”
“I’m laughing over your daughter thinking her nutritional condition as an infant could impact her pregnancy. What a nut. Well, if she’d actually been starved, it seems there would be a possibility her current health could be impacted, but that’s clearly not the case here.”
Fed Is Always the Best
“Fed is always best. It’s such a personal decision, and not everyone even gets their milk supply in sufficient quantities, if at all. I get wanting to breastfeed as there are some benefits, but to my knowledge, the benefits only really apply during infancy.
Certainly simply not being breastfed doesn’t make one malnourished, certainly not by the time one is an adult, what the hell.”
She’s Being Brainwashed
“Not the jerk. Your daughter is being brainwashed by fear-mongering campaigns. Fed is best.”
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