Family and business should be kept separate, and I couldn’t agree more. An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for not hiring my cousin to do my makeup at my wedding and using someone else?”. Here’s the full story for your context.
The Original Poster (OP) (26f) recently got married, and her cousin Ava (23f), who is a makeup artist, offered to do the makeup for OP’s bridal party.
She quoted OP a family discount rate of $40 per person, which was lower than her usual rates. While OP appreciated her offer, she had to say no because it didn’t fit within OP’s budget.
Whom Did OP Book For Her Big Day?
OP found another MUA who charged $25 per person (for much simpler makeup), which was more affordable for OP and her bridesmaids. OP booked this MUA and everything went well on her wedding day.
What Happened Today?
However, today Ava texted OP that some family members asked why she hired a different MUA instead of giving Ava the opportunity.
Some of the family have texted OP calling her a jerk for not supporting her younger cousin’s business and making her feel awkward there.
What Does OP Say In Her Defense?
OP says, “While I would love to support her, I didn’t have the money to do so in my budget. I have seen her social media posts and can see why she charges so much, but the makeup I wanted was much more natural, and I couldn’t justify Ava’s prices for me and 7 bridesmaids.
I told Ava that I can’t afford her makeup and she is calling me the jerk for not respecting the time and talent that goes into her work.”
Some More Context
OP later edited the post and added the following information:
“I didn’t ask Ava to price match. Her usual rates are $75 dollars, and asking her for a discount on top of what she quoted me seemed disrespectful.
My husband and I are Mexican, so got married in our hometown, and I hired a local artist instead and tipped her on top of her rates as she was much cheaper.”
Now OP wants to know if she is a jerk for doing so.
It’s Weird That Ava Doesn’t Get It
“Not the jerk. You would be if you picked someone else for the same price, but it wasn’t in your budget. It’s weird if Ava doesn’t understand that.”
You Did The Right Thing!
“Not the jerk. You actually DID respect the time and talent that goes into her work (you didn’t ask for a steeper discount). You simply wanted a less elaborate job, which helpfully for your budget would be less expensive.
You are not required to change what you wanted and pay more just to ‘support someone’s business’ at your own wedding.”
You Weren’t Obligated
“Not the jerk. Personally, I would have offered Ava the $25 price if she could do the makeup you wanted for that, but you’re not obligated. You told Ava she was out of your budget, that should be enough.”
That’s Why You Don’t Mix Family & Business
“Not the jerk. There are a lot of people who don’t mix family and business at all for this reason. If she’s giving you a discounted rate already it would have been gauche to ask for her to cut it almost in half again.
The only circumstance where it would have been a bit odd to go with someone else is if she offered the makeup styling as her wedding gift to you.”
You Declined Politely And That’s What Matters!
“Not the jerk. Everyone has a budget and is able to spend their money how they please. You didn’t hire a different MUA because you didn’t like/ respect Ava or her work.
She was gracious to offer you a family discount which was still too high for you, I don’t think it would’ve been fair to ask her to go lower, you respected her pricing and declined.”
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