Is Mother’s Day all about picking the right gift for your mum? Is waking up early and helping with your mum’s breakfast too much to ask for? The following incident urges us to think along those lines big time.
What Happened?
A user recently asked, Am I a jerk for refusing to help cook on Mother’s Day? We want you to look into this matter and share your thoughts.
Backstory
On Thursday, the Original Poster (OP’s) Dad (42M) took him (18M) to help pick out a frame for (38M) Mother’s Day. The frame said, “Mom, you are the piece that holds us together.” The puzzle pieces beneath it had their names on them.
After two hours of shopping, they got what they needed. OP picked out a frame for them to use. OP’s brother (4M) received a little credit since he was little, and his other brother (15M) did as well, though he didn’t help; he just said whether or not it looked good.
What Happens On Friday & Saturday?
The gift was completed on Friday, so they showed it to Mom that evening, and she liked it. They took a picture with it as well.
OP says, “We had a garage sale on Saturday, but we all did our own thing afterward. That evening, I played with a few online friends and decided to stay up late since it was the weekend, and we didn’t have plans on Sunday. I decided to go to bed around 2:30 AM.”
What Happens On Mother’s Day?
This morning (Sunday), OP’s Dad opens his door at 9:05 AM, which wakes him up and asks him to help cook eggs for Mother’s Day.
OP explained to him that he was trying to sleep because he stayed up late and didn’t know they planned to make breakfast beforehand so that he wouldn’t stay up late.
OP’s Dad Insisted
OP’s Dad insisted that he should help with the eggs or the waffles. OP reiterated that he was still trying to sleep because he had stayed late. His dad said he would help with the eggs, and that he had six minutes. OP quickly tried to say that he had already told him.
OP says, “At around 9:45 AM, he came in again while I was in bed asleep, the door opening woke me up, and he said, “How do you think that’ll make her feel? Hearing that you refused to help make her breakfast?”
I replied that I had already helped with her Mother’s Day gift, and he said something along the lines that he was the one who had the idea and built it and that helping with breakfast is something I can have more control over. I replied, “Got it; I wasn’t a part of her gift.””
Did OP Wake Up To Help His Dad?
After some back-and-forth, OP’s Dad closed the door a little (it wasn’t fully closed); and left to continue cooking.
At around 10:15 AM, breakfast was ready, and OP was asleep; his dad came to his door, slammed it shut, and walked towards the kitchen, cursing OP, but he didn’t call him any names from what OP heard.
OP further says, “I’m not sure what he said, but I think it related to doing what I wanted and not what the household needed. I feel like he failed to communicate his plans and that if he had told me he intended on making breakfast the next morning for Mother’s Day, even after her gift, it would’ve helped me to know not to stay up late under the impression that we finished Mother’s Day and that we had nothing planned. Am I a jerk?”
It Was About ‘YOUR’ Mom
“You’re the jerk. Mother’s Day is about your Mom, and she is barely in this post. You were asked to help make her breakfast one the one day of the year she is celebrated. It would be best if you took it up.
It’s not about your Dad’s behavior or how you chose a photo frame buddy. It’s about being a grateful son.”
You Had Slept Enough Already
“You could have cooked breakfast for your mom. If you were so tired, you slept for 6 hours and could have slept the rest of the day after making breakfast. How often do you think your mom was tired when she got up to make breakfast for you?
You say that you helped to pick out the present for your mom. Did you just pick out the present or did you also pay for it?”
Mother’s Day Isn’t Just About Gifts
“So…you thought that jumping in on your dad’s gift to your mother was an adequate gift for Mother’s Day? Because you picked out a frame?
Honey, no. Mother’s Day isn’t about gifts. I wouldn’t say you’re the jerk for not cooking breakfast, but you *are* the jerk for saying, “we gave her a gift and took pictures—Mother’s Day is over.”
My question to you, then, is *What do you plan to do for her today?*
You should make this up to her, not because your father is angry with you, but because you love her (I assume) and want to make this one day of the year that’s supposed to be about her *actually* be about her.”
You Knew It Was Mother’s Day, Right?
“Why would you go to bed so late the night before Mother’s Day? Why wouldn’t you plan to get up early to help? Why did your Dad even need to ask? Ignoring your Dad when he specifically asked you for help was disrespectful and ungrateful for all your mother does for you. You could have gotten up and taken a nap later. What you did was crazy.”
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