Getting inspired by watching TV shows is one thing, and deciding to make a move based on them is another. A user asked on a popular forum, Am I wrong for not letting my wife go to medical school?
The Original Poster (OP) is a 35-year-old with a 34-year-old wife who stays home to care for their two children. OP was a relatively wealthy software engineer and had been trying to be financially responsible for saving money for retirement and his children’s college.
After getting into a few medical TV shows, OP’s wife was obsessed with being a doctor. She tried convincing OP to pay for her applications to multiple medical schools.
What Happened Next
OP thought that that was a stupid decision because his wife was out of her communications degree for eleven years then and had not even taken the MCAT. And if, by some slim chance, she got into medical school, her tuition would wreck their finances and would cause all sorts of problems with childcare.
What Did OP Suggest?
OP told her he would support her taking a smaller step into the medical field by becoming a CNA or nurse first because it was a better and more realistic approach for her to get that position and then advance to medical school.
Also, OP never forced her to stay at home and do childcare. OP does a third of the housework on top of his job, and she asked to stay home since they married. She recently changed her mind.
What Happens Next
OP understood her concern. OP didn’t overly restrict her spending, and any financial rule they created was imposed on them. All large-scale financial decisions, over $1000, were approved by both of them. They both could buy necessities and anything they wanted underneath $1000 occasionally.
Since her 50 applications exceeded $1000, they both needed approval, and OP disagreed.
What Did OP’s Wife Do?
Also, OP’s wife refused to take the MCAT despite his encouragement to do so first because she thought studying for it would slow down her timeline. She insisted that she wanted to maximize her chance by applying to at least 50.
She also didn’t like OP’s compromise of trying another medical career first, like nursing.
OP tried explaining to her that the decision wasn’t realistic and suggested that she try to do some other training, like being a CNA, to get a taste of the medical field first. Still, she got mad at OP and said he was stealing her career aspirations.
OP asks, “Am I wrong??”
She Can Consider Nursing School
“Not wrong. Retired nurse here. Ask her if she would apply to nursing school. If she has her bachelor’s degree (any field, as long as it’s a bachelor’s degree), she can apply for a 16-month accelerated RN bachelor’s program.
She can always pursue more advanced degrees if she chooses. She’ll soon see how television programs in no way ever reflect reality. There’s a huge demand for nurses, but again, she will quickly realize why there’s so many positions available.”
You Are A Jerk
“Not a jerk!! I came here prepared to call you the jerk based on the title but kinda sounds like she may be the jerk. Her degree isn’t science based so does she have any scientific background?
Maybe pay for her to take the MCAT so she understands this isn’t the field for her. Side note: I have no idea how much the MCAT is, I know I only paid around 125 for GRE and as a software developer(no kids tho) this seems a small price to pay to nip this nonsense in the bud.”
This is Unrealistic
“This is unrealistic, and 50 applications is an enormous amount of money. With a communications degree, she likely doesn’t even have the required coursework for medical school. Perhaps she should try the MCAT first, to see if she really wants to do this?”
Was OP correct to refuse applications to 50 schools and suggest nursing school? Was it inappropriate for OP’s wife to refuse MCAT and be adamant on med school? How would you have reacted in this situation? What would be the solution?
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The article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.