In a family torn between tradition and progress, is it fair to challenge the status quo when it comes to celebrating a daughter’s achievements?
A user asked on the forum, “Am I wrong for calling my ex a deadbeat in front of his family?”. We want to hear from you
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) is a 41 years old female who has a daughter named Sam who is 14 years old. OP divorced her husband, Brian, and Sam’s father when Sam was 4.
What Does OP Say
In OP’s words, “Brian made a real effort to be a good father for the first couple of years after our divorce. But then pretty much overnight he seemed to lose interest in her.”
What Else Does She Say
“He stopped coming to parent-teacher nights, never came to any of her sports games and stopped asking about them, refused to pay child support (which I eventually stopped asking for, as I have a well-paying job), would forget to pick Sam up on days he said he would, stop asking to see her at holidays.
On the rare occasions, he remembered to pick her up he would try and smooth everything over by buying her expensive gifts, and it worked for a really long time, but it’s started to wear off now, and Sam is starting to see through it.”
What Happened Next?
Sam has maintained a very close relationship with her paternal grandparents. Sam is a very accomplished field hockey player and represented our country internationally recently, and it’s likely that she will be on the world championship team later this year.
They returned 2 days ago and yesterday her grandparents wanted to take her and the rest of the family to lunch to celebrate.
What Did Brian Do?
Brain showed up 45 minutes late, and didn’t apologize. His parents were surprised and told him to behave.
Brian Interjected
As Sam recounted her time and summaries of the matches to her grandparents, Brain interjected and belittled her performance because she ‘only’ scored 1 goal. Sam burst into tears and ran to the bathroom.
What Did OP Do?
OP comforted her, and she asked if they could go home. OP agreed and told her to wait in the car while she got their stuff.
Brian Was Defending Himself
When OP returned to the table, Brain was defending himself against his parents, and she snapped. OP told him he was a deadbeat and recounted all of the things mentioned above and that she wouldn’t be surprised if Sam cut him loose one day.
What Does OP Say
OP says “Our daughter is wonderful and does not deserve to be treated like this. His parents seemed shocked as he clearly had given them the impression he was a good father. He threw a tantrum and stormed out. I apologized and left money for half the check with his parents.”
What Did Brian Do?
Since then Brain has sent OP several messages, and his parents texted to say they don’t appreciate the scene she caused in the restaurant.
OP says, “I don’t think I did anything wrong but my parents agree with them, so maybe I did. Am I wrong?
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.