When couples have disagreements, it’s normal to talk things out. But is it okay to embarrass your partner in front of other people?
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for humiliating my bf and telling his friends?”. Let’s see what people have to say about this.
BACK STORY
The original poster (28F) ( OP) and her bf(29M) met in the same company. She has left, but he’s still working in the company. OP says that he makes about $130k in tech sales.
OP makes $180k as a cloud architect. He likes to complain because his commission compensation was reduced, and the pre-sales engineers got a raise.
AGGRESSIVE CONTRACTS
OP says that she knows it’s because a lot of salespeople were writing really aggressive contracts that led to unhappy customers, and now the guidelines for sales have made it harder to make sales.
OP says that her bf used to make $40k more, so he’s a bit angry about that, although, to her, it’s just the natural downturn in the tech sector.
Boyfriend Talked About How Bad
OP says that her bf was talking bad about how all pre-sales engineers do is talk about products on PowerPoint and don’t do any actual work that makes the customer sign.
OP GOT ANNOYED
OP got annoyed because he doesn’t know anything about tech, and most pre-sales engineers she used to work at had 4-8 years of software development experience, not to mention precise training on the products before they got to be making that salary.
HIS BOYFRIEND HAD ONLY SALES EXPERIENCE
She says that she had two years of support experience and three years of software dev experience before she made 180k, and her bf only has sales experience, so to discount how much knowledge is needed is pretty bad.
OP says that her boyfriend said he knows some coding and could take their jobs.
IDEA OF CONDUCTING MOCK INTERVIEW
OP asked her boyfriend, and since he thinks he knows their role, he should be able to pass a junior coding interview and technical questions.
THE LOSER WANTS TO PAY FOR DINNER
He agreed and said the loser paid for dinner, and OP agreed.
OP got some interview questions and coding questions like Fizz Buzz and Hashmap coding questions.
HER BOYFRIEND COULDN’T ANSWER BASIC QUESTIONS
OP says that he couldn’t answer a single question, not even things like what’s a difference between Java and Python, explain what the OSI layers are, what caching is, and the craziest one is what’s the difference between SAAS and IAAS, which he definitely should know because he is selling SAAS products.
HE COULDN’T ANSWER ONE
She had ten very basic questions, but he couldn’t answer one. He also did make any of the code runs.
OP says that her boyfriend was angry and argued with her the entire time, but OP googled things to prove he wasn’t right. He would sulk and didn’t pay for dinner.
HE DIDN’T PAY FOR DINNER
OP was bitter he didn’t pay for dinner, and when a friend of his came over a week later, OP told him about it. And they had a good laugh because he always likes to complain about how easy engineers have it while he has to travel and boasts how he could do their jobs easily.
OP said that he was there and yelled at OP later for humiliating him.
Now OP wants to know if this is wrong?
BOTH ARE WRONG
“Both of you are jerks. Your boyfriend for his attitude and refusing to honor the bet. You for bringing it up with a friend of his so that you could both laugh at him about it.”
YOU HUMILIATED HIM, AND HE COULDN’T PROVE HIMSELF RIGHT
“Both of you are jerks. You didn’t have to tell the friend, but you did, specifically to humiliate him. He talked a good game but couldn’t back it up and is a sore loser. He lost a bet and didn’t pay up.”
HE IS EMBARRASSED
“Not a jerk. You and his friend were just having a good laugh over something light-hearted. It sounds like your bf is a little embarrassed about not knowing something simple for his field of work.
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.