Birthdays are meant to be special occasions, but some kids can’t have a party because there isn’t enough money.

A user took forum to ask Am I wrong for being unable to give my daughter the birthday she wants?

BACK STORY 

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OP’s ( Original Poster ) daughter will turn 15 soon. OP addressed that the money was a bit tight on her side. So she told her daughter they couldn’t afford a birthday party this year.

SHE SAID SHE COULD BUY A CAKE

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She said that instead of a party, her daughter could buy a cake and a gift and go out for dinner. After hearing this, OP’s daughter threw a tantrum over not getting a birthday party, but gradually she got over it.

SHE WANTED A PEANUT BUTTER CHOCOLATE CAKE

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OP’s daughter told OP that she wanted a peanut butter chocolate cake and a tablet and wanted to go to an Indian restaurant.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? 

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OP told her daughter that she was being unreasonable and that she knew that her brother was allergic to peanut butter. 
She said she had offered to buy her daughter a cupcake, but her daughter insisted on having a cake. 

OP agreed to it and told her daughter she would have a cake. 

THEY STARTED ARGUING

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OP and her daughter argued over the gifts because OP couldn’t afford a tablet, so she asked her daughter to choose something else. 

But OP’s daughter refused to choose anything else, so OP bought a new phone case for her daughter. 

YET ANOTHER ARGUMENT 

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OP and her daughter had another argument. OP says that her daughter knows that neither she nor any of her siblings eat Indian food, so OP told her that they would go to her favorite fast food instead.

OP’s daughter was upset and angry with OP, and she asked them to have fun and told her she was not coming.  

SHE LEFT WITH HER DAD

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OP’s daughter called her dad and left with him. OP has been trying to talk to her daughter, but her daughter only says that she will not come with them and she won’t talk to OP. 

HER BROTHER CAN GET CHOCOLATE CAKE

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“And why was she offered a cupcake of her preferred flavor when the brother, who is NOT the birthday honoree, could get a cupcake safe for him while her daughter could have the cake she wants on her birthday? The brother could get a chocolate cupcake, right? Why is the enjoyment about literally everyone else BUT the person the celebration is for?.”

OP DOESN’T WANT TO MAKE HER DAUGHTER’S BIRTHDAY ABOUT HER 

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“I’m not sure where they live, but with the cost of food and cake, she might be able to buy a tablet for the cost of eating out at a restaurant and cake.

She could have found a tablet that was on sale and not done cake and a restaurant or offered cake and a restaurant of her choice. Neither of those options works, though, because OP clearly doesn’t want to make her daughter’s birthday about her at all.”

WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS THIS?

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“OP’s daughter probably could have a small party at home with a few friends for the price of eating out with mom and her half-siblings. Birthday parties don’t have to be expensive: some chips, crackers, soda, twister/board games/card games/whatever they have at home, and thanks to the Internet, unlimited movies, series, music, etc.

Plus, OP would be able to get her a small cake, like six slices, of her chosen flavor and hassle some with logistics, so her daughter could eat her cake somewhere, for example, with her friends (like starting her birthday with a picnic in a park to eat the cake) without risking exposing her brother to peanut because allergic brother is not there.

Or if she doesn’t want her daughter to have a party at home and she wants to take her to a restaurant instead, then at least go to the place where she wants to eat as long as it’s within budget. She asked for a place where there’s Indian food and not for a specific expensive restaurant. If the rest of the family doesn’t like the food, then OP could take just her daughter there with an open invitation to her other kids (if they want to join, they can, but if they don’t want to, then they can stay home with someone). Or OP could take the restaurant just to the birthday girl without her other kids if it’s not just about not liking the food but a money thing too because the food is cheaper if there are fewer people there.

Whose birthday is this again? Jerk!”

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