Imagine someone is mad at you for trying to steal their thunder on their big day when you were literally 9 YEARS OLD back then!
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my SIL that the grudge she’s holding against me over wedding photos is stupid?”. We need to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) (F20) has an older brother (M34) “Tim”. Tim has a wife, “Vicky” (F33).
For a while now, OP has noticed Vicky has been acting weird around her. She avoids interacting with OP, avoids eye contact, doesn’t make conversation, and generally seems annoyed with OP’s presence.
OP wasn’t really sure what her problem was.
When OP Inquired With Tim
It was starting to get to OP so she, as gently as possible, asked Tim about it.
He Confirmed
He confirmed Vicky was angry at OP over something. He explained that a while ago, OP’s mother posted some old photos from his and Vicky’s wedding on Facebook (OP doesn’t have Facebook so she didn’t know) and that she used a filter or photo editor that made OP’s dress look white when it was actually pastel blue.
Confession Time
Later, Tim, Vicky and OP were alone and Tim brought this issue up and said it needed to be talked about.
Vicky started to become visibly upset and she pretty much repeated what Tim told OP, and said that the edited photos were disrespectful, and that really OP shouldn’t have worn a color that was so close to white anyway.
OP Dismisses Her Concerns
OP reminded Vicky that she was 9 years old when they got married, and don’t even really remember much from it. She said OP must’ve had some choice in what to wear.
What Does OP Say
“I told her I don’t know because I don’t remember, and that if it bothers her so much she should take it up with my mom, and I told her that this grudge she’s holding against me is stupid.”, says OP.
What Next?
Vicky looked mortified and said that OP didn’t have to be so calloused and that she had no reason to be rude to her and dismiss her concerns. Tim is now also mad because OP “disrespected” his wife.
What Does OP Say?
“I just didn’t understand what other response she could be expecting, especially when I have a complicated relationship with my parents. Was I wrong?”, asks OP.
Vicky Is Being Ridiculous
“Not the jerk. Even if it was white, you were 9 and clearly not the bride. Vicky is being ridiculous and Tim should be telling her that. Also, this was 11 ish years ago and now she’s decided to be upset? When did she see this doctored photo?”
Your SIL Is Very Immature
“You are not the jerk here, Wow. To be so upset for so many years about something so ridiculous that you couldn’t even control it at such a young age?
Your SIL is very immature and self-absorbed. Just ignore her and don’t worry about it. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were 9 for Pete’s sake!
I can only imagine the hell she’s putting your brother through over this idiocy.”
That’s On Her, Not You!
“She’s mad that nearly a decade ago a 9-year-old sister to the groom wore a pastel blue dress that, with heavy filtering, looked white to her wedding. If she can’t handle being told that, bluntly, that is ridiculous then that’s on her.”
You Have Done Nothing Wrong
“Not the jerk. You never doctored or posted the photos and were only 9 at the time. Your SIL needs to grow up and stop acting like a toddler. You have done nothing wrong but their behavior towards you is wrong. You owe no apology but are definitely owed one by them!”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.