Imagine your spouse’s kids from their previous relationship keep disrespecting you every now and then. Would you be willing to entertain them at your place anymore?
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my husband to not bring his daughters home or I’ll leave with my kids every time they’re over?”. We need you to find out!
Backstory
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) husband has 2 daughters (19 and 16) from his previous relationship. He only sees them once or twice a week on his days off. It’s because of his work schedule that he can’t see them often.
“When they come over they usually stay for a short time, eat dinner or lunch, and talk with their dad. Sometimes they go out for a couple of hours.”, says OP.
The Problem
The problem is that OP’s husband’s daughters have no respect for OP or her kids, and the 16-year-old constantly steals from their home.
“I don’t mind if they just didn’t want a relationship with me. But they constantly disrespect me, and insult me when I enter the room.”, says OP.
Previous Problematic Instances
They have insulted OP for not working (OP has a job but just recently had a baby), and make ‘jokes’ about how she’s using their dad for money (OP makes more money than him).
OP Has Two Sons
OP has two sons from a previous relationship (7M, and 9M). The daughters insult OP because they think her sons are too dumb to understand what they are saying.
“Yet they understand clearly and are hurt by it. I have talked to my husband about this, and he says it’s all just jokes, and that he acted like that to his siblings. I have talked to them about it, and they told their mom who argued with my husband about it.”, says OP.
The Sixteen-Year-Old’s Nasty Habit
The 16-year-old also steals; she’ll say she’s going to the bathroom and then enter the bedroom and take some cash. OP has caught her doing this multiple times. OP’s husband will make her give it back and then give her money from his own wallet.
“When I try to talk to her about it she tells her mom, who again argued with my husband. We have gotten locks for our rooms but she has just stolen other stuff instead.”, says OP.
What Now?
OP’s kids avoid going to the kitchen or living room when the girls are over, and she’s tired of being worried that something is missing.
OP told her husband that he could spend time with the girls outside the house, and if he brought them over she’d just take the kids and leave until they’re gone.
“My husband called me childish, and my mom said it’s unfair to make him do that for me. Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.
It’s So Horrible!
“Not the jerk, but you will be one if you stay in this marriage without any major changes from your husband.
It’s bad enough that his adult and late teen daughter are terrible to you, but it’s horrible they’re treating your children, who are of child age, terribly.”
It’s Not Just About THEM
“Not the jerk, they are very old enough to know what they are doing, they’re thieves, rude & disrespectful. Husband needs to be a man and a real father & check those kids. It’s not just about THEM. He has you, them & your children to think about also since you guys are married.
Instead, he’s only trying to keep his daughters happy, which is fine if that’s what he wants then let him, BUT you don’t have to deal with that toxicity at all. He’ll learn real soon his daughter is the issue once you leave him for this nonsense & he gets another woman & he’s hearing the same stuff from her.”
He’s A Major Jerk For Not Addressing This
“Not the jerk. Just because your husband doesn’t have custody doesn’t mean he gets out of parenting. Being rude, insulting others and stealing is wrong and your husband is a major jerk for not addressing this.”
Call The Police Next Time!
“Not the jerk. You shouldn’t just leave when they are there. You should leave permanently. Why did you marry someone who disrespects you? He has no respect for you, your sons or your home. Next time she steals, call the police. Set up a camera in your room where you keep money.”
Just Leave Him!
“Divorce your husband ASAP. He sees nothing wrong with his kids’ criminal behavior and expects you to tolerate it. You should and could do better. Kick him and his disgusting trashy kids to the curb.”
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