Some people can be busier than others, and some jobs make it difficult to make plans that often. Do you agree? 

Well, even if you don’t, we want you to take a moment and help this person. A Redditor approached the forum and asked, “Am I wrong for insisting my sister-in-law (SIL) visit us more when she is a busy resident doctor, and she says she can’t?”



The Original Poster’s (OP) sister-in-law is a resident physician who works long hours, often ranging from 60-80 hours per week. She also frequently works on weekends, sometimes even working both days. Her residency is located seven hours away by car from where OP, OP’s husband, and their 1.5-year-old daughter live.

OP and her brother were very close growing up and even lived in the same apartment and later in the same city. They have always been only 20-30 minutes away from each other. 

After OP married and had a baby, her brother moved seven hours away to be with his fiancé, now wife. That was devastating for OP as she had always imagined her brother being close and involved as an uncle.

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What Happened Next?

OP’s sister-in-law worked long hours, typically from 6 am to 5:30 pm, six or seven days a week. However, she had some “golden weekends” with Saturday and Sunday off. She usually had one per month and then had three weeks of vacation, never over the Christmas or New Year holidays.

During that one weekend per month that OP’s sister-in-law had entirely off, she and OP’s brother usually stayed home because she needed to relax, or they drove two hours to visit her family. 

For her three weeks of vacation, which she could only take one week at a time, they went on a one-week-long trip to Hawaii, a one-week-long trip to Cancun with her family, and then spent one week visiting her family two hours away.

They have only visited OP and her family once or twice a year, saying that the drive is too difficult with her limited time off, and she gets too tired to make the trip. OP says, “But not too tired for Hawaii or Cancun?”

OP’s brother and sister-in-law frequently ask OP’s parents and OP to visit them during holidays when she has to work. She said they could at least be together, and her sister-in-law would join them every day after 5. However, it was challenging for OP to travel with her 1.5-year-old child. Their parents would have to split their time between visiting OP’s family and visiting the sister-in-law.

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What Did OP Request For?

OP requested that her brother and sister-in-law visit them more often, even though she understood that her schedule was hectic and she had a heavy workload. However, when OP suggested that her brother visit alone, he refused. 

He stated that his wife needed him due to the mental strain of being a resident physician, citing the high depression rate among resident physicians. The brother called OP a jerk for her suggestion.

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What Does OP Believe?

OP believes that it’s unfair for them to be the ones who always have to visit because they have a one-year-old child and both work full-time

She felt her brother and sister-in-law should balance things better and try to visit them instead of just going on vacation. However, OP wonders if she is wrong for insisting on this.

What would you do in this situation? Is it right for OP to demand time from them? Was it right for OP’s SIL to take trips but not meet the family?

This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.

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