She chats amiably with her husband’s friends when they come over to watch soccer. As a gift, her husband gave her a hilarious dress to wear when his friends were around.
A user asked the forum, Am I a jerk for not using my husband’s “hilarious” gift?
BACK STORY
The original poster ( OP ) and her husband have been married for four years. OP had a great job in sales before covid, but she and her husband found during the pandemic that things just worked better with her husband at work and OP at home.
Because OP earns better to support both of them. OP says that she never thought she would become a traditional wife. As OP’s husband was the breadwinner, OP felt she should pick up much of the slack at home.
WHAT DOES OP SAY
OP says that she is not a great cook, but she is sociable and enjoys being a hostess.
When OP’s husband has friends over to watch soccer, OP prepares a huge tray of snacks, keeps the beers on ice, and pops in with drink and food top-ups during the game. OP says that she doesn’t stay there to watch the game, but she will just have a polite chit-chat with her husband’s friends.
OP says that her husband’s friends comment that he must have done well to have such a great wife like her for making a nice set-up.
A HILARIOUS GIFT
The previous week, OP’s husband came home with a beautifully gift-wrapped box and said he’d got her a little something to wear when his friends were next over.
OP says that she does her best to dress well when her husband’s friends are around, so she thought that it would be a pretty dress or something.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
OP’s husband had a huge grin, so OP was excited. She opened that box to find a red latex mini-dress and a ball gag.
OP says the gag was designed to look like a soccer ball, and the dress is in his team’s color. She was confused and didn’t know what to say because her husband had never done anything like that.
SHE ASKED HER HUSBAND
OP asked her husband if it was a joke. OP’s husband at first refused and told her that his friends wouldn’t believe how lucky he was if she walked in with the snacks in that dress. She didn’t remember what she said next, but her husband told her that it would be hilarious if she wore it, and he also told her that she must lighten up.
OP gave a nervous laugh and said that she, too, thinks it would be funny.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
That morning, OP’s husband put the dress on her dresser and told her he was looking forward to seeing her in them when the guys were around that next day. OP reminded him that he said it was a joke, but OP’s husband got a bit angry and said he couldn’t believe she didn’t have a sense of humor.
But OP questions if he wants her to wear the dress, and she is confused for two reasons.
One is if he has made this joke because his friends think that OP talks too much. Another one is if he had gotten off on her being humiliated.
OP’s husband says that OP is uptight and calls her a jerk. But OP doesn’t think that she is unreasonable.
ASK HIM TO WEAR THE DRESS
“If it’s something he’s into, this is not how to introduce it.
And if humor is really the goal, tell him that his friends would find it even funnier if HE wore it (undeniably true), and then you can get upset if he doesn’t go along with that because that would make him uptight and where is his sense of humor?”
IT IS PLANNED
“Expensive and deliberate. He put thought and time into planning this and went out and bought the items. There is no joke here.”
YOU MUST GET A JOB
“At the VERY LEAST, it’s time to dust off the resume and get a new job. The time for being comfortable with financial dependence on that guy is now gone.”
IT IS NOT FAIR
“This. Snack service has now ended.
You are not a jerk, OP. Your husband sure is for taking what he claimed is a joke to the level of basically saying outright he’s into this. Seems he wanted you to laugh but also desperately wanted you to be funny.
Privately? There are ways to ask. Publicly? It’s humiliating.”
HE DOESN’T VALUE YOU
“Why would your husband think you deserve to be humiliated? Is this the value he places on you now that you don’t have a job outside your home? Serving wench? No snacks or service anymore. Go out to the movies or something instead of even being home.
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.