A user asked, Am I wrong for eating salad in front of my girlfriend and then making a joke about it?
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) (28M) grew up in a family that put a lot of emphasis on healthy eating. As a kid, they always started dinner with a salad, and OP has continued that practice as an adult.
What Did OP Say
OP says, “I don’t take my salad with any dressing, and the only toppings I add are mushrooms and tomatoes. Since I don’t put the dressing on my salad, I often eat it with my hands since it’s easier than spearing the dry mixed greens with a fork.
I’ve been eating my salads like this since I was a teenager, and it was never an issue, even when having dinner with my parents.”
What’s With OP’s Girlfriend
OP’s girlfriend (27F) eats salads occasionally but doesn’t love them as OP does, which is fine. She’s currently pregnant, and pretty much all she wants to eat right now is meat and potato-type meals, which is also fine.
She’s had severe morning sickness in the first trimester, and it’s been a struggle to find foods she can consistently keep down. So we’ll make something she wants for dinner, and then OP will pair it with a side salad for himself so he still gets his greens.
What Happened Next
Lately, OP noticed she’s been a little distant during dinner, so OP asked her about it. She said that OP’s side salads are “unappetizing” to her, and she requested OP stop eating them in front of her because it makes her nauseous to watch.
OP told her that everything makes her nauseous right now and that it’s not fair to OP that he has to change his lifelong diet because of her pregnancy symptoms.
What Did She Say
She told OP that the issue isn’t with the salad; it’s how OP “shove it down my throat like a caveman.” That makes her gag, and then she doesn’t want to finish her food.
What Did OP Say
OP says, “I told her I’ve been eating my side salads like that for over a decade, and no one has ever commented on it, so I think she’s being overdramatic. I told her that her caveman comment was rude and unnecessary and that I would continue the conversation when she was ready to discuss it more reasonably.”
How Did She React
She immediately got up and went into the nursery, and shut the door behind her. When OP walked by later, OP could hear her crying, but OP didn’t go in and say anything because OP feel like she should be the one to apologize to him for the crass comments she made about how he eats.
She ended up sleeping on the glider in the nursery while OP slept in their bed alone.
What Happened This Morning
They sat down for breakfast this morning in silence, so OP attempted to diffuse the tension by asking if the way OP was eating his toast was acceptable or if it was also making her nauseous.
She immediately started crying again, calling me a jerk and accusing him of not caring about her feelings or how hard the pregnancy had been on her.
OP wants To Know
OP says, “All I was trying to do was make a joke. And I know pregnancy is complicated, but women go through it just fine all the time, so I don’t understand why she’s making such a big deal about it. So am I wrong for eating my salads in front of her and then making a joke about it the next morning?
I want us to sit down and resolve this when she gets home from work tonight, so I guess if I need to apologize, I will.”
She Can’t Control Her Naseua
“She’s not asking you to change what you eat, she’s asking you to change where or how you eat. She can’t control her nausea but you can control how/where you eat your vegetables.
I’m guessing, by your clueless and unsympathetic reaction to her request, that you’re constantly dismissing her pregnancy symptoms. Especially since you think pregnancy isn’t that big of a deal (“I know pregnancy is hard, but women go through it just fine all the time”). Looking forward to your next post about being confused as to why your girlfriend won’t let you in the delivery room. You are a jerk”
That Was Not A Joke
‘And quadruple jerk by saying you wanted to diffuse the tension by starting the argument all over again. Do you happen to think you put out fires by covering them in gasoline?!?!’
You Are A Jerk
“Jerk, for the joke you made. Easy solution for the salad, you can eat it before eating with your gf, and have few bites of a potatoes with her. Is it that hard to find a compromise?
And you’re 2 times an a jerk for your comment about how “women are just fine with pregnancy”. All my pregnancies and birth went perfectly. Still I was nauseous with cravings during first semester, still I was more sensitive and less patient, still I had to deal with my body changing forever etc etc.
You’re just at the beginning of it. Step up man.”
I Cannot Image How You Are In Real Life
“If he’s willing to put in those dismissive comments about her pregnancy in the write up, imagine how belittling he must be to her irl.”
More From Mrs Daaku Studio
He Took Care of His Daughter For Two Weeks While Wife Was Away. Says, “For all the work that I did, the one tiny mistake I made, and she slammed for after 2 weeks.” Is He Right?
Read more to know what happened.
He REFUSED To Let The Passenger In Front of Him To Recline Her Seat on a Flight. She Calls Him A Jerk. Is This Justified?
He refused to let the passenger in front of him recline the seat. She gets irritated, but we think she is the one who is wrong. You decide. Read here.
She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right
She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right. Read here
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right.
He Took His friend’s Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far?
He Took His Friends Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far? Read here.
This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.