Even small behaviors can have a significant impact on a relationship. It is therefore important to be mindful of our actions and how they may affect our partner.
A user asked the forum, “What was something fairly small that made you feel betrayed by your SO?”. Let’s look at the top responses.
NOT READING THE LETTERS
“When he was doing a work contract overseas, I sent him love letters every two weeks to feel connected. When he got home and unpacked, I found many of them unopened.
GIVING MY HOODIE TO SOMEONE ELSE
“My high school girlfriend lent my hoodie to someone else.”
NOT TAKING CARE
“When he got Covid, he was quarantined downstairs. I waited on him hand and foot. Three days later, I got COVID-19, but while he was feeling better and still quarantining himself, I had to be sick and care for our son.
I was stooped over the counter trying to make him dinner, and he just went back downstairs. I’ll always remember that.”
PUTTING SOMEONE DOWN
“I had a friend who dumped his girlfriend when he overheard her making fun of his (admittedly, rather nerdy) sister to her friends.
He said it wasn’t just about loyalty to his sister, and it was about not wanting to be with someone who has to put others down to feel better about herself.
Always thought it was admirable.”
NOT DOING THE DISHES
“My sister was in the hospital, and he didn’t do the dishes while I was gone for three days.”
LETTING KIDS TO WAKE ME UP
“After complaining for months that I never got to sleep in, despite being the only one to get up to the kids in the night, he finally let me sleep in one morning.
I woke up hearing him quietly saying to the kids, “Mummy’s had long enough; go wake her up.” I only had maybe an hour extra. He always had several.”
JOKING AT AIRPORT
“We were going through airport security together. She went first, and when she was being screened, she pointed at me and said, “Make sure you check my boyfriend; he always has knives.” as a joke, I got detained for a search and questioning and almost missed the flight.
No, I didn’t have any knives or other contraband on me. Then she got mad at me for almost missing our flight.
LIKE WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN HERE EMILY.”
COMPLAINING ALWAYS
“It’s small, but one year we were both working 15-18 hour days but had Thanksgiving off. I planned the menu, but he didn’t give input. I ordered the ingredients online during my lunch break to pick up after work because I didn’t have time to shop.
I woke up early and did everything. Cleaned the dishes and the kitchen after. All he did was complain. I made too much. I had too much wine (3 glasses over 7 hours). After all that work and not even a compliment or a thank you? Yeah- we divorced. That was our last Thanksgiving together.”
SKIPPING MY FAVORITE SONG
“My ex would skip the songs I liked that came on the radio.”
FLIRTING WITH OTHER GUYS
“Seeing my girlfriend casually flirting with other guys. Letting them drape their arms over her and laugh into her neck while drinking.
It seemed oddly intimate, but she said I was being insecure and paranoid. I finally had to walk away because we had different ideas on what it meant to be in a relationship.”
EATING THE LEFTOVER RESTAURANT FOOD
“My ex took me out to a nice anniversary dinner. I can never finish a restaurant entree, so I took half home. He knew I really loved the meal and was looking forward to leftovers. He ate them while I was at work.
It was a small betrayal, and I didn’t break up with him or anything. There wasn’t a fight, no drama. But it did kinda taint the anniversary memory for me, can’t lie.”
SAYING A LIE
“I taught our dog how to “speak” (bark on command). This took a lot of treats and a lot of patience on my end. She got annoyed with me because the dog was barking, and I was saying “speak” over and over. At a party, I overheard her telling her friends that she taught him that trick.”
NOT MAILING A SPECIAL POST
“I had recently married my now ex-wife. We were moving overseas for a few years after I finished up some training for the Air Force. She wanted to visit some family several states away, so I told her to do that while I finished the training, and we’d meet up afterward.
My father’s birthday was during this period. I got him a card, signed it, and then mailed it to her for her to sign and send it to him. Pre-addressed, postage paid, and all she had to do was sign and drop it in the mail. I finish training, fly out to meet her, and guess what’s lying on the floorboard of her car on the passenger side?”
SHE IS STILL TALKING TO HER EX
“I found out my girlfriend was still talking to her ex and lying about it. He was thousands of miles away. She was comforting him about his parents’ divorce. I believe nothing inappropriate happened and if she’d been honest about it, we might have been fine.
Really, it was a lie for me.”
SUPPORTING HER SISTER’S BEHAVIOUR
“My girlfriend knew that her sister was cheating on her boyfriend. She had been cheating for at least six months.
Meanwhile, I had been reassuring this dude (the sister’s bf) that he was being paranoid and his girlfriend was completely devoted to him (at least that’s the impression I got from her). My girlfriend KNEW I was reassuring this dude and fully approved of it.
When I found out her sister was cheating, my girlfriend KNEW her sister was cheating, had lied about it, and had allowed me to mislead this guy. I was very hurt.
She said it wasn’t her place to tell and, frankly, it wasn’t her business or my business.
I had to break up with her, and I couldn’t be with someone who felt that comfortable with infidelity within a relationship. She thought I was overreacting to something that had “nothing to do with us.”
I don’t know, maybe I was. All I know is that I didn’t feel comfortable with her anymore.”
DRINKING HER LAST ORANGE JUICE
“When I was going through an extremely difficult and complex pregnancy with our twins, I had SERIOUS orange juice cravings. But I also had gestational diabetes, heartburn so bad it was medicated, and Hyperemesis Gravidarum.
So, I rationed it, which was seriously hard to make myself do and allowed myself a single serving a day. I was also starving, but my babies had crushed all my organs, so I could barely fit anything in my stomach; I was losing weight and starting to have feelings of what I can only describe as primal food-guarding.
One day, I woke up and found the orange juice carton in the bin. He had drunk the last of it, I was too ill to get to the shop, and he was out at work all day. I phoned him literally sob-screaming ‘how could you…’. I’ve genuinely never felt such deep emotional betrayal before or since. I cannot explain it; hormones, medical difficulties, and growing two people seriously threaten you.”
NOT HELPING
“When I was married about five years in and far from home, I got to work, and my car battery died. I called my husband at the time because I needed help. I needed help because I had no idea how to replace the battery and needed a ride to buy a new one. It still confuses me to this day.
He said, “I’m off work, but I’m heading out to go hunting. Go have your work friends help you.” He refused to come to help me. I never felt so alone and worthless. Like if my mom called my dad, he’d be there in minutes!
If I was home, I could have called buddies in different counties, and they’d be there to help me. But he absolutely refused to come help. It was the beginning of the time where if I had any self-esteem, I should have clearly seen the signs of continued cruelty and divorced him.”
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