The tradition of smash cakes has gained traction in recent years, as parents look for creative and memorable ways to celebrate their child’s first birthday.

A userasked, Am I wrong for refusing to eat a “smash cake”?

Backstory

kids party
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Yesterday was the Original Poster’s (OP) nephew’s 1st birthday, and OP’s sister and brother-in-law (BIL) had a little get-together at their house.

What Happened At The Time Of Cake

Portrait of baby girl celebrating her first bithday with gourmet cake and balloons.
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When it was time for cake, they brought out my nephew’s “smash cake”— precisely what it sounds like, a cake for the baby to smash up and get icing all over themselves for cute pictures or whatever.

What Did OP Think?

Hands of children destroying cake. Kids smash cake with hands. Neighbour gets his revenge. It's already enough.
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OP imagined it would be the size of a giant cupcake, but they brought out a regular-sized round birthday cake. OP just figured they splurged and still expected the cake to be for him to play around with.

What Did They Do?

Tired businesswoman sitting at her workplace in office
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After OP’s nephew had gone at this cake with his bare hands and stuck his whole face in it, OP’s sister started scooping up the mangled remains and distributing servings to everyone (just a handful of family members.)

And everyone else was eating it!

What Did OP Do?

disgusted woman 1
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OP declined because she didn’t want to eat something with a baby’s grubby hands and body all over it, and OP was surprised that anyone else did.

What Did The Sister Do?

Man with moustache showing a disgusted facial expression, studio portrait
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OP’s sister insisted she takes a portion, and OP said, “Really, no, that’s gross.”

What Does The OP Say?

Really?! Shocked and frustrated young lady in formal wear is surprised, standing isolated on the light background, holding copy space
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OP says, “I probably wouldn’t have used the word gross if I wasn’t on the spot, but I was not prepared to decline to eat baby spit politely.”

What Happened Because of OP?

SMS. Shocked anxious scared young girl looking at phone seeing bad news photos with disgusting emotion on face isolated gray background. Human reaction, expression
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OP’s sister was hurt by that and told OP later (on a phone call that OP thought was way longer than it needed to be for the severity of the infraction) that she thought OP was being extremely judgemental, that it wasn’t a big deal, we’re all family, don’t participate if OP doesn’t want to but don’t call her gross, etc.

What Do Others Have To Say?

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“Not wrong.

Smash cakes are supposed to be only for smashing and for the baby to eat. There is usually a second, non-smashed cake for adults to eat, or the adults are just adults about it and don’t eat any cake.

I’ve never heard of someone trying to serve a smashed cake to adults.”

It Is Gross

Amazed african man and woman with open mouths looking at camera over pink background
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“Ewwww. I’ve seen smash cakes many times, and never once have I seen someone offer the smash cake to others. So not only is it gross, it’s also pretty weird as well. Don’t blame you for the gross part either; I’d react the same.”

It Was In Poor Taste

Photo portrait of young excited funny nervous stressed brown wavy hair lady open mouth dissatisfied bad news isolated on aquamarine color background.
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“The fact that your sister even offered up the smashed cake to people to eat is in such poor taste. This is the equivalent of a toddler holding a cookie in their hand they’ve been sucking on, and then they offer you a bite of it. Nobody ever wants to take that bite.

I’m surprised that many people willingly ate the cake in the first place. Not a jerk; your sister was a bad host.”

Would Your Sister Eat It

Close up portrait of disappointed, shocked, pretty, charming, stylish woman with wide open mouth and eyes, looking out glasses, holding eyelets with fingers, isolated on grey background
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“Not a jerk…Would your sister eat a cake you had slobbered over and pulled apart with your hands? Not likely. She would probably also find the suggestion to be gross.

Watching a baby pull a cake apart may be fun, but eating the remains is no less gross. You likely only said what others were thinking.”

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