Navigating the intricate world of dating and forging romantic connections can be a challenging endeavor for many individuals. It is crucial to acknowledge that several factors can contribute to these complexities.

A netizen recently asked, “What makes the ‘undateable girl’ undateable?”. We’ve curated the responses that made the most sense to us!

Unrealistic Expectations 

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“A good friend of mine is a good example. She is quite attractive and has no problem getting into relationships but all of them are done within like 2 months.

Her expectation of a relationship is way too high. She becomes clingy, jealous and expects every date to be elaborate. So I would say immaturity and unrealistic standards are a big reason. 

I personally also have an issue with people who are looking for “the one” because no one is perfect and if you’re always looking for that perfect guy you’ll probably never find him.” 

Social Ineptitude

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“Social ineptitude can be too easily mistaken for a lack of interest;

Both will struggle to carry on a conversation, both will give one-word answers, and both will have guarded closed-off body language. Both will likely never initiate a conversation or text first.

Now, we could give the benefit of the doubt, assume social ineptitude and keep trying, however, we risk being labeled a certain way for our lack of mind-reading capabilities, and really who is going to give us a benefit of the doubt?” 

No Sense Of Healing From Past Trauma

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“What made it most undateable to me was that there was no sense of healing from past trauma. They would just come to me and be like ‘Take me for who I am.’

It’s cool to have a support system or someone to support you but no one’s gonna save you or change you.

You gotta put in the work. It won’t go away unless you address it. & the sooner you love yourself the quicker & more solid things fall in place.” 

Complete Lack Of Interest

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“I have been dating different girls lately and one thing I can say on top of my head is complete lack of interest. If a girl is going to be completely blank in her lifestyle besides how pretty she is that’s a big no-no.

I don’t care if you are a supermodel if you can’t hold a conversation over a coffee you are just gonna experience a hook-up and then bye-bye.” 

Expecting Your Boyfriend To Be Your Entertainer

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“In regards to my ex, it was that she views having a boyfriend like having a dog or a personal trainer. Her expectations were that I would plan her entire life, entertain her, feed her, facilitate her work, constantly surprise her with nice gifts, we’d always do what she wanted to do and so on… I wasn’t a person, I was a fashion accessory she expected to perform certain tasks.

Her logic was that this exchange was paid for by her in intimacy. This was visible because when she didn’t get what she wanted she would threaten to withhold intimacy, and if I said I didn’t want to do something she would offer intimacy as a reward for doing it. 

What made this untenable was eventually realizing I didn’t want to solely exist to entertain one woman.” 

Desiring Mr Perfect 

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“One reason I’ve seen in both men and women is the desire for a ten when they are only a 6.” 

Being Desperate And Clingy 

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“If someone gives off a desperate, clingy vibe, it can be a huge turnoff to potential dates/partners.” 

Being Too Childish 

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“She’s too childish. But I dated a girl in high school for a few months. Broke up due to circumstances. 

But then started talking again 5 years later. She’s an adult now, but nothing has changed. She still talks and acts like she is in high school. (No known disabilities).”

Being A Hassle 

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“Hassles. Guys don’t want hassles. Don’t be a hassle or add unnecessary hassles to others’ lives.” 

Wanting To Be A Chase 

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“The personality, annoying, overbearing, clingy, asks/expects too much super early into the relationship. 

They want it to be a chase where they are the prize. But no guy I know nowadays wants to chase at all. Relationships are mutual, and shouldn’t be treated as some loyalty test for the men to pay for dinner and carry the conversation for months.” 

Not Knowing How To Flirt 

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“I had this exact problem, I never got interest from guys. While I’m no supermodel, I’m not ugly, a little chunky maybe, but not so fat (in my youth at least) that I was undateable.

I never really figured it out, but I think it had to do with I never learned how to flirt. I was fine being friendly to men, but flirty was another story, and I was too shy to look men in the eyes at a bar or club and smile, the usual “go” signal men look for. So I think men never got the signals I was interested or amenable to being approached.” 

Big Surface Ego

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“Big surface ego with very insecure roots. It’s too obvious.” 

Acting Weird  

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“Chances are, it’s something about how you act because there’s a whole specific fetish for women who don’t meet any conventional beauty standards.

And honestly, it’s also possible you’ve just got a bad face, which makes them think you’re not interested in even talking.” 

Being A Jerk

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“They’re rude to waitstaff, frontline workers, etc. Immediate death sentence in my eyes. Be a jerk on your own time. Don’t embarrass me.” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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