Relationships are hard work and can be even more complex in the modern world. With so many distractions and challenges, it’s no wonder that many relationships fail. A user asked the forum, “What is ruining most relationships nowadays?”

Here are some responses he got!

INTENSE FEELINGS OF NEW LOVE DON’T LAST

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“Thinking that you must always feel that intense feeling at the beginning of a relationship and that when it subsides you’re not in love anymore.”

THE DAILY GRIND

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“The constant grind of daily life. I have a fantastic marriage, but Jesus Christ, the daily 10 hours away from home and the stress is soul-sucking.”

LACK OF CONSIDERATION

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“I’ve noticed a massive shift in the mentality where, yes, people should care for themselves and self-care is important. However, it doesn’t take much to consider others’ feelings. There’s a line between what some people classify as self-care and selfishness.”

SOCIAL MEDIA AND DATING APPS

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“Social media and dating apps, the commercialization of love/dating, first time in the history of mankind that we have experienced this, what can go wrong?”

LACK OF RESPECT

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“Lack of respect for one another. You don’t even care to try when you don’t respect somebody. You’re just there by inertia.”

LACK OF COMMUNICATION

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“Mine also ended because of this, and communication is essential in a long-distance relationship. Anyhow, communication is key. To every single relationship in life, communicate effectively, and it’ll be alright, not that I should give advice on it, but what do you all know.”

LACK OF HUMILITY

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“The lack of humility is a huge one that people don’t talk about often enough. So much toxic pigheadedness gets passed off these days as self-care or whatever people who refuse to admit they’re wrong or have insane standards.”

YOUR CHILDHOOD AFFECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

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“Not ‘nowadays,’ but always: people not seeing or seeking to understand how their childhood impacts their relationship patterns and how prone we are to replicate past situations, especially unresolved ones. So we project a lot of our baggage onto our partner, then get frustrated when they don’t resolve it for us. It helps to know when and why you’re doing this so you can choose to do it differently.”

FOCUSING ON THE END GOAL INSTEAD OF THE RELATIONSHIP

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“So many things. But my divorce was due to focusing on the end goal instead of the relationship. And not trusting myself and what I need. I’ve now realized how I went into all my previous relationships thinking that “success” was getting married and having kids—not happiness. I’m flipping that as I get back to dating.”

ATTRACTION AND LOT OF FLIRTING

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“People get together based on attraction and a lot of flirting. Eventually, once that fades, people realize they don’t even like each other/get along, or have any connection/things in common.”

CASUAL RELATIONSHIP

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“I might get hate, but casual relationships. Ruined it for everyone because nobody says it upfront if they want it casual and end up cheating/breaking up, scarring their exes.”

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

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“People are expected to be perfect, not a single flaw. It’s not just in romantic relationships but in acquaintances, too. Any hint of a trait which could be “red flagged” is used as a crack to split relationships apart.”

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