It’s high time people stop blaming others for their own mistakes. 

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for refusing to put ‘from mom and dad’ on my son’s birthday card or reminding my ex that it was our kid’s birthday?” What’s your take on the matter?


The woman covered her mouth with her hands and turned away from the surprised man. High quality photo
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The Original Poster (OP) and her ex-husband had issues, and they are divorced. One of the big ones was he thought he was a great father, but in reality, OP just presented him as that. 

“If I planned a whole party, I would say it was from the both of us. He would forget and then piggyback off all my work,” says OP. 


kids party
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Her (OP’s) son’s birthday is this weekend, and she invited the kids and had a party, got the gifts, and so on. 

“Now halfway through the day, since there was no call from him to wish our kid happy birthday, it became obvious that he forgot,” says OP. 


angry kid
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Their son noticed by the end of the day and was quite sad. OP told him he would see his dad tomorrow, and maybe he (his dad) had a surprise.


woman ignoring her partner after an argument
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Well, nothing happened. OP’s ex didn’t plan a thing, and he only remembered after their son yelled at him for forgetting. OP and her ex got into a colossal phone argument about OP being petty that she didn’t throw his name on a card or even remind him when it was clear he forgot. 


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“I don’t see why I should since he is a grown adult, and he should step up. He thinks I am a huge jerk. My mom got involved and told me I should have it for my kid’s sake,” says OP. 

Is OP the jerk?


I don't know. Portrait of confused beautiful woman in glasses with wavy blond hair standing, raised arms, confused and thinking. Indoor studio shot isolated on gray background.
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“Your ex won’t do better if there’s no penalty for doing badly. It isn’t perfect for your son, but this is who his dad is until he decides to do better. You’re not the jerk for letting your son see his father without you fixing everything from behind the curtain.”


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“Not the jerk. You’re not married, so you don’t have to cover for him. He’s an adult. He should know when his son’s birthday is. I’m sure your son would have known everything was from you anyway since his dad didn’t bother to call and wish him a happy birthday.” 


Portrait of her she nice attractive lovely charming cute cheerful cheery wavy-haired lady showing excitement isolated over bright vivid shine orange background.
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“Not the jerk. You did the right thing, and your ex and mom can go mad about it elsewhere. 

Your son knows (I suspect he already knew, really) that you and you alone are the stable, consistent parent. 

Honestly, your mom should be ashamed of herself for acting like this when you are nailing it. Maybe look at that relationship too.”


Young woman portrait over grey background
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“As a society, we must stop expecting women to cover men’s shortcomings. They will never learn until we take the training wheels off. Not the jerk.” 


Young brunette woman wearing turtleneck sweater clueless and confused with open arms, no idea and doubtful face.
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“I always noticed when both of my parents signed my birthday cards, compared to when just my mom signed it for them. Don’t enable your ex. He can step up or lose a relationship with his child from his own doing.” 


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“Not the jerk. Your mother is wrong. Presenting him falsely will lead to problems with your son. Remembering to do the right thing by your child is not hard, especially in modern times with calendars on our phones that alert us.” 


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“Not the jerk. He’s not your problem anymore. Maybe now he’ll start remembering and doing something for his kids.” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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