Hosting a dinner party is always fun, but what if you can’t accommodate everyone’s food preferences? Is it still okay to invite guests who are demanding and entitled?

A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for not accommodating a friend’s vegan coworker at a dinner party?”. Read the complete story to know who is wrong here.


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A couple of weeks ago, OP invited five friends over for a dinner party. She told her friends they could each bring a +1. 

She says that on Monday, 4 of the five friends said they were bringing a +1. 


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OP made a group text with everyone in it and asked about any allergies/dietary restrictions. She got the replies and put together four dishes that could accommodate everyone.


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 On Wednesday, OP sent out the menu and asked if everyone was okay with it, and everyone was okay with the menu. 


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OP says that the friend who hadn’t had a +1 on Thursday afternoon asked if he could invite his coworker. OP agreed because she hadn’t shopped yet, so it would be easy enough.


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It turns out his coworker is vegan, but he didn’t mention it to me then, even though he already knew the menu.  OP thought she should have asked about dietary restrictions, but she was at work and distracted.


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On Friday night, OP had already started preparation for the meal. 


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Her friend added his coworker to the group text, and she asked what would be served. When another friend posts it, she comes back with a massive wall of text. 

Some of the highlights include her saying that at least half the dishes at any event with food must be vegan because vegans shouldn’t have to announce they are vegan.


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She added if they have to say they are vegan, that’s the same as forcing Jewish people to wear yellow stars during the Holocaust. 

She also demanded that OP should add at least two vegan-friendly dishes to the menu; otherwise, it would prove that she hates animals and minorities.


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OP responded that she had already bought the food and started the prep work, and she was afraid that she couldn’t accommodate her this time. 

OP also said that she could have tweaked 2 of the dishes with what she had on hand, but first, while she likes to cook, it isn’t easy cooking for so many people, and she hates when people take the effort she put into it for granted by, say, demanding she could add two more dishes to the menu last minute. 


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Second, based on her rant in the group text, OP didn’t want this person at her dinner party.  Both her friend and his coworker exploded the group text with insults and more rants about how put-upon vegans are.

OP says that if she had politely asked for some vegan-friendly dishes, she would have gladly tweaked the menu even if it was last minute.


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It turns out that the friend and his coworker didn’t come to the dinner party. OP says that she had a good time with the people who did come. Also, some of the OP’s friends posted on Facebook about it.


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The friend and his coworker commented on all the posts saying that OP refused to accommodate their dietary needs. 

Since the dinner party last night, OP has gotten a couple of dozen messages, some from people she knows, some from friends of the coworker, saying that she should always be willing to accommodate someone’s dietary needs even if it is last minute and that 24 hours is more than enough time to shop again.

OP says that she would normally brush this sort of thing off, but some of the people telling her that she was being insensitive are people whom she considers to be fairly reasonable. 

OP asks if she is a jerk. 


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“Sometimes veganism is not a choice if a person’s body requires avoiding animal prod. I know one such individual. That said, if she had been this friend’s +1, she definitely would have politely asked about vegan options and offered to bring something. Because yanno…manners and grace.”


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“Your friend is a complete jerk, and his coworker is insufferable. I’m like you in that I would be more than happy to accommodate a polite person. But no way in hell would I change a thing for somebody like that. It’s no wonder vegans get such a bad rap in memes.”


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“Look on the bright side. Imagine how miserable your dinner party would have been if this entitled, rude, tedious, and insufferable woman had actually shown up and decided to opine in person rather than via text.”

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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