Some people can never keep their nose out of others’ businesses, no matter what.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for laughing at how my friend used her inheritance?”. We need you to find out!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) friend of about 17 years (Delilah, 37F) had a very problematic childhood. Delilah barely went to school because her only parent was addicted to substances, among many other problems.
“I don’t know how she slipped through the system for so long, but she was pretty much a lost cause by high school because of how little discipline she had,” says OP.
BACK WHEN DELILAH WAS TWENTY-THREE
At 23, her dad died, and due to the matter of death, Delilah won a somewhat large sum of money.
WHAT DID SHE DO NEXT?
Once she got that money, Delilah chose to go to a community college.
“I guess she learned to love learning and had so many interests she never knew about that she went to several schools in most of her 20s and came out with several degrees,” says OP.
OP’S VIEWPOINT
She (OP) had held her tongue on Delilah, wasting so much money on school.
“If it were my money, I’d want to save it or explore and then get a degree, not go ahead first. Delilah has 6 degrees, and to me, it’s just silly. The real kicker is my husband, who is an engineer and makes more than she does, despite all her side jobs and projects,” says OP.
THE CLIMAX
Well, OP and her husband were visiting Delilah, and she mentioned how she wanted to study history and maybe take a class or two online for the fun of it. She (OP) laughed and asked if any of her inheritance was still even left. She said that shouldn’t be OP’s concern.
“I admitted it was ridiculous. Delilah could have just bought a nice house with that money instead of blowing it on degrees she doesn’t even use,” says OP.
IS OP THE JERK?
Delilah told OP all her degrees served a purpose, and she loves what she does now and loves learning because she was deprived of it as a child. She told OP she wouldn’t defend herself to someone who did not grow up in a similar situation.
“My husband told her to calm down. The situation is now awkward, and I’m not sure if I need to apologize or not. Am I a jerk?” asks OP.
KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF
“You’re the jerk. Like Delilah said, how she spends her money is none of your concern. Feel how you want, but keep it to yourself. Also, why did you feel the need to point out that your husband makes more money than her? Does that matter?”
HER FINANCES ARE NOT YOUR CONCERN
“You’re the jerk. Delilah was put in a fortunate financial position to do what she wanted and enjoy herself. Her finances are not your concern.”
A REAL FRIEND WOULD NOT LAUGH AT HER
“Your husband told Delilah to calm down? You’re the jerk, and so is he. A real friend wouldn’t have laughed at her or called her degrees useless.
A real friend might have gently suggested that there were other uses for the money, but a real friend would also have heard her atypical but very reasonable explanation.
Delilah sounds like she’s done pretty well out of a horrible situation. You sound petty and insecure. You should apologize to her.”
IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS
“It isn’t any of your business. Delilah didn’t throw it away. She likes learning. You were wrong for laughing. She isn’t hurting anyone. You’re the jerk.”
YOU DON’T SOUND LIKE A FRIEND
“You’re the jerk. For someone you call a friend, how you describe her in the post is not how I would talk about my friends. You don’t sound like you like Delilah at all. All of your words are condescending and disdainful.
She did not ask your opinion of her inheritance. It’s not your money. That’s an inside thought that doesn’t need to be voiced. You should apologize for crossing the line and being hurtful if you want to keep your ‘friend.'”
YOU SOUND BITTER & JEALOUS
“You sound bitter & jealous. Delilah wasn’t a lost cause & it is admirable that she has been able to gain several degrees & invest in her learning, whether or not you find her degrees useful.
It sounds like you miss having a ‘friend’ you can look down upon. Oh, and no one’s impressed by your husband’s engineer job. Him telling her to calm down makes him also a jerk.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.