Kids can be moody and disrupt your plans, but is it healthy to let them control your life?
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for canceling vacation less than 24 hours in due to my kid’s behavior?”. Read the complete story to know more.
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) and her husband have three kids, 9M, 8M, and 3F. The boys have been driving them crazy.
She says that they fight like cats and dogs. They have had countless talks with them about respecting each other, to no avail. OP says that she understands sibling rivalry, but it’s gotten to the point it’s disruptive to them all every day.
She had already told her husband the previous week that she wasn’t sure if the vacation was a good idea.
DID THEY GO TO VACATION?
She says that her husband shut her down pretty much immediately, and things went ahead as planned.
THE FIRST CAR RIDE
She added that, first of all, the 3.5-hour car ride was (predictably) hell. The boys are fighting and ripping each other up the whole time.
She and her husband kept trying to reassure each other that things would be better once they got there, and they would be too excited to cause trouble.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
They were wrong. They had so many reminders of what not to do once they got to the rental house. So, they did everything wrong from the get-go.
WHAT HAPPENED
OP says that the shoes are on the white furniture. Check. Running in the house? Check. She turned her back for 2 seconds, and the eight y/o threw a box of chalk in the pool to keep his brother from getting it.
They went out to lunch, and they were out of control in the restaurant.
Her eldest kid ran away from them in a strange place because he didn’t get his way.
They finally go to the beach, and they are frankly brats. She says that they are refusing sunscreen. Fighting over toys. Pushing their luck repeatedly, going farther and farther out in the water than they told them to.
HOW DID OP FEEL?
By the time they got back to the house, it was around dinner time, and she was fed up. She says that they were totally ruining it for everybody.
WHAT DID OP SAY TO HER HUSBAND?
Nothing had worked, and she told her husband that they needed to go home for the reasons mentioned above, mainly that they needed to see a REAL consequence.
WHAT DID HER HUSBAND SAY?
Her husband still insisted it would get better. She says that she put her foot down and told him that she didn’t even want to be there at that point, so either she was leaving, or they all were.
Her husband got super angry and told her that it was ridiculous and unfair to their daughter. OP says that she actually agreed with him but saw no other choice at this point.
HOW DID THE KIDS REACT?
She says that when she tells the kids, they immediately burst into tears and beg to stay, promising they will behave.
OP’s mother, who came with them, was also near tears. She thinks her precious grand babies do no wrong.
WHAT DID OP’S MOTHER DO?
OP’s mother argued with her, too, begging her to “just let it go,” but she refused to budge.
So, they left less than 24 hours into a 4-day vacation.
HOW WAS THE RIDE BACK TO HOME?
OP says that half the ride home was spent with them sobbing, and her husband gave her the silent treatment the whole way.
Her mother decided to stay behind a little longer but then started randomly texting her about 30 minutes in, asking if she was serious and telling her the whole reason she came was to spend time with the kids, so she had now “ruined it for everybody” and “they’re only little once.”
OP says that here they are the following evening, and pretty much no one likes her right then except her 3-year-old. OP asks if they are right and if she is a jerk.
YOUR SONS MUST LEARN
“Not a jerk. Actions have consequences. Your sons are learning a needed lesson.”
IT IS A GOOD LESSON
“Not a jerk. Kids need consequences, and it sounds as though your husband and mother have been too inclined to give them ‘one more chance.’ If you ever need to say to them again, ‘Stop that, or we’re going home,’ they’ll know you mean it.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.